


The Mating Ritual of Bygone Island's Jungle Badger

by Zelkova48



Series: The Saga of Bygone Island [1]
Category: Sonic Boom (Cartoon), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Accidents, Action/Adventure, Crazy, Feral Behavior, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Mating Rituals, One-Sided Attraction, Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26279914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zelkova48/pseuds/Zelkova48
Summary: Sticks the Badger is going through a feral cycle, and it's driving her even crazier than normal. In order to prevent an accident from occurring, she seals herself away to her burrow where she plans to wait out the rest of her impulses. However, after a failed tuneup sends Tails crashing into her home at mach 3, he finds he has more trouble to deal with than a concussion and burns.
Series: The Saga of Bygone Island [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068668
Comments: 21
Kudos: 27





	1. Insane in the Brain

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The characters' ages are as follows,
> 
> Tails: 19
> 
> Sticks: 21
> 
> Amy: 23
> 
> Sonic: 24
> 
> Knuckles: 26
> 
> Dr. Eggman: It's rude to ask a villainous scientist his age, you know?

Sticks frantically darted around her burrow, rummaging through the various mountains of junk, trash, and other assorted garbage that riddled her humble home, all the while her friends observed on by the entryway with a bemused expression on their faces. She paid no mind to them, however. All that mattered at the moment was that she was prepared for when ' **it** ' happens.

"Is it me guys, or is Sticks acting crazier than normal?" said Sonic, watching the madness unfold before his eyes.

"I'd say she's acting par the course given this is Sticks we're talking about here," replied Amy. "Although I have to admit this level of paranoia induced preparation does seems a bit over excessive."

"She's going pretty fast," remarked Tails, "she might even be faster than you, Sonic."

"I'm gonna go ahead and ignore that," Sonic grumbled.

"Yo, Sticks. Why you acking so cray cray?" asked Knuckles.

"You're the one who's acking cray cray!?" Sticks snapped, caused everyone to reel from her outburst.

"Well, now my feelings are hurt," Knuckles pouted.

"I-I'm sorry big guy!" Sticks quickly apologized but didn't stop what she was doing. "I just need to get ready for when ' **it** ' hits me and I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Uuuuh, ' **it** '?" said Sonic, scratching his head.

"You know, ' **it** '!" Sticks exclaimed as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. She was greeted with an awkward silence from her friends that was broken by a dry cough from Tails.

"Er, for those of us who aren't in the know, what exactly is ' **it** '?" Amy asked with a sheepish grin.

For the first time since this morning Sticks stopped in her pursuit of self imposed isolation and pulled out a crude diagram drawn on a large leaf from her junk pile depicting herself as a stick figure and the several phases of the dreaded ' **it** '.

"I'm not sure if you all know this or not, but I am no ordinary badger, I... am a _feral badger_ ," Sticks began, pointing to the image of a disheveled looking badger.

"Gee, what a revelation," Sonic quipped sarcastically, his face deadpan. "So what does this have to do with this stuff?"

"I've been stockpiling supplies to wait ' **it** ' out. ' **It** ' usually lasts for about a week so I need to get everything ready before ' **it** ' hits."

"Could you just tell us what ' **it** ' is already?" said Tails exasperatedly.

"I was getting to that," Sticks cleared her throat and pointed to another section of the diagram. "You see, unlike you guys I haven't outgrown any of the feral traits our ancestors had that have allowed us as a species to thrive for so long in nature. That's why once a year for a whole week I lose control of myself and enter a state of pure feral instinct where I act without inhibition."

"You mean act like you usually do?" Amy bluntly stated with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Sorta, only I get more aggressive. My predatory senses increase tenfold and I have the irresistible urge to mate."

"...What was that last part?" Sonic blinked, his cheeks dusted pink.

"You know, mate," Stick repeated, earning another bout of silence from her friends. "You know, to dance the horizontal polka. To spear the white whale. To plug the leaky tub. To verb the adjective noun."

"Sticks, we get it. Please stop speaking," Amy interjected, her face red as a tomato.

"Wait, was this why you couldn't show up for movie night last year?" inquired Knuckles.

"Well, that, and I'm pretty sure movies are actually a gateway to another world. I didn't come because I was afraid the creatures in the film might leap out and devour our faces," replied Sticks.

"Yes, because that's the part that's the most polarizing of news," Tails deadpanned.

"You know what, I think we should get out of your hair so you can get back to your ' **it** ' business before you start losing it and jump someone's bones," said Sonic.

"Sonic!" Amy rebuked, her face reddening even further to the point she became purple.

"Gotta go!" Sonic waved goodbye before hastily speeding off into the distance, to which Amy watched with incredulity.

"...He's lucky he's cute," Amy grumbled sullenly. "Apart from his poorly worded statement, he's right. It's time we left you to your thing before ' **it** ' gets out of hand. See you in a week, Sticks. We should have some girl time once you stop being driven by pure instinct."

Amy, Knuckles and Tails each exchanged a brief farewell with Sticks who returned the gesture before rummaging through her garbage pile again. She needed to work fast. She could feel herself growing more and more unrestrained as the minutes ticked away. The urge to hunt, the urge to forage, the urge to propagate. It was becoming overwhelming. There was food to pack, doors to board and bugs to sweep for, both the insect and the listening variety.

"Gotta make sure to line my burrow with tin foil to block out the government mind control beams..." Sticks muttered.

* * *

Five days went by on Bygone Island.

Sonic and his friends, sans Sticks, went about their lives the same as always. There was the occasional attack on the team by Dr. Eggman, to which he was comfortably thwarted in a timely manner. He laid in a smoking crater amidst a collection of smoldering metal that used to be his robot army in the middle of town, his hovercraft having been reduced to modern art after receiving a good thrashing with Amy's mallet.

"Argh... You might've won this time, Sonic the Hedgehog and pals! But next time, I'l- Hey, where's the crazy orange one? She hasn't been with you for a few days now," asked Eggman, smoting the tiny flame upon his impressive moustache.

"Oh, Sticks? She's dealing with a personal issue at the moment," replied Amy, setting her mallet down.

"Hmm. It isn't _feral reversion syndrome_ , is it?"

"Uh, feral what now?" Sonic raised his eyebrow.

"Feral reversion syndrome," Eggman repeated, dusting the soot off his clothes. "It's a neurological disorder where certain domesticated creatures, you for example," he pointed to Sonic, "temporarily revert to a more primitive state of mind wherein you act like the animal you evolved from."

"That must be the scientific term for the ' **it** ' Sticks was talking about," said Tails.

"I'd always figured she had it, and not just because she's a whackjob conspiracy theorist jungle badger that's been living on the fringe of modern civilization her whole life. That cuckoo in the coconut badger friend of yours must be going through one heck of a change if it's taking this long to recover from it."

"How do you know all this?" asked Sonic.

"I have a minor in neurology. You'd know that if you'd actually ask what I'm good at," Eggman grumbled.

"Sorry we don't exchange small talk that often, Egghead," Sonic quipped. "We're always fighting, save for the moments we end up working together from time to time."

"It happens more than you know," Knuckles added.

"Well, I hope she's doing fine. It's not the same trying to destroy you all when there's only four of you," Eggman commented wistfully. "Word of advice, I'd steer clear of her if you know what's good for you, the guys especially. Until she snaps out of feral reversion syndrome she'll be boy crazy like a teenage girl who listens to too many sugary pop songs."

"Trust us, we know," Tails deadpanned, the memory of the Justin Beaver debacle resurfacing in his mind.

"Anywho, same time for our battle tomorrow?" asked Eggman.

"Hmm, let's see..." Amy pulled a pocket book and flipped through its contents. "I'm booked until the evening. You can try annihilating us and/or terrorizing the village with another convoluted scheme of yours before supper."

"Perfect! There's a shrink ray I've been meaning to test out on the local populace," Eggman exclaimed gleefully. "Mwuhahahaha! Well, see you tomorrow." With that, Eggman left casually like a coworker clocking off work for the day.

"Well, that's that," said Sonic, dusting his hands. "We still got the rest of the day. Anyone up for some Meh Burger?"

"You guys go on ahead, I gotta check the engine for the Tornado," said Tails who was already leaving for his workshop. "Bring me back some fries though, I'll pay you back!"

"Tails and that plane of his," Sonic chuckled.

"If he loves it so much why doesn't he marry it?" Knuckles quipped.

"Don't give him any ideas," Amy lightly chided the boys. "Now come on, all that hammering has left me absolutely famished."

* * *

Sticks was having a terrible time.

' **It** ' was in full swing and it left her positively overwhelmed by the previously mundane sensations that assaulted all her enhanced senses. The floor was suddenly too hard, the dirt was suddenly too soft, and the air suddenly smelled too airy. She held onto herself atop her bed, eyes darting back and forth sporadically as they desperately searched for prey that didn't exist. To top it all off, the ' **it** ' was making her even more paranoid that she usually was.

Several thoughts raced through her head. What if her friends were getting replaced by robots? What if the government was trying to clone her to create an army of jungle badger super soldiers? What if more recognizable and popular characters from the series franchise showed up and stole the spotlight from her? It was too much, too much, too much!

She bit at her lips and rocked side to side trying to distract herself from her instincts. It did little to alleviate the hypervigilance she was experiencing. Her entire body was screaming at her to go to the jungle and be free, to go wild like her primitive ancestors, _to find her mate_. She fought hard to maintain what semblance of control she has over herself. She didn't want to hurt anyone with her recklessness, especially not her friends.

There were two days left. Then she can be free to poke and prod strangers for information about aliens without feeling like her heart was going to jump out of her mouth.

There were only two days left.

Only two...

* * *

Tails pulled back from the Tornado's engine and marveled at his work, wiping away the grease that stained his cheek. Yessiree, his plane was a beauty and the new modifications he added to it were only going to make it even better. Setting his spanner down Tails hopped into the cockpit of the plane and turned the engine on where he began admiring the hum and vibrations of the motor.

"Oh yeah, listen to that baby purr," said Tails. "Tails, you've outdone yourself this time. Wait until the guys see this."

The sound of the engine stalling suddenly brought his attention back to the plane. He raised his eyebrow quizzically, unsure as to what the problem might be.

"Huh? That's weird," Tails scratched his head. "I could've sworn I did everything rig-"

He was interrupted in his speech when the engine suddenly burst into flames and promptly exploded with the force of Knuckle's punch. It knocked him out of the seat and sent him flying out of the workshop at mach speeds, leaving a neat hole in the shape of his outline in the ceiling. He soared through the air yelling the whole way through, a trail of thick black smoke emanating from his twin tails painting the sky like a streak of charcoal on paper.

Nearby at Meh Burger, everyone witnessed a screaming fireball soaring through the air.

"Hey, what the heck is that!" Sonic exclaimed, pointing to the smoking object in the sky.

"Is that..." Amy squinted, her vision better than most. "Tails?"

"Hmm... Looks like the engine on the Tornado exploded after he tuned it up and it sent him flying through the air like a bird," Knuckles correctly surmised, earning a few looks of utter flabbergast from his peers.

"What's his trajectory, where's he headed?" Sonic asked.

"It looks like he's headed for... Stick's burrow!" shouted Amy.

"We gotta move!" Sonic and his friends all dropped their meal and took off running, but not before returning to wipe their hands with some napkins. Then they took off running again, hoping that they'd be able to reach Tails before he crashed into Sticks's home.

Little did they know the mess they would stumble across soon afterwards...

* * *

Tails collided into Sticks's burrow with a resounding crash that sundered the roof of her home and sent a plume of dirt and junk into the air. Trash scattered all over the poor fox as he started seeing stars, his vision a blurry mess of brown hues and flashing light. Luckily for him he was relatively unharmed. Years of fighting Eggman and dealing with faulty machines backfiring on him have left him with the hearty constitution of a cartoon character.

When the dust finally settled Tails was able to see clearly again, though his head still ached something fierce as he forced himself back onto his feet. He struggled at first, wobbling side to side but held firm when someone helped to right him.

"Tails! Are you alright!" Sticks exclaimed, holding onto his arms.

"S-Sticks?" Tails muttered. "Whuah happun?"

"You tell me, buster," Sticks began. "You crashed into my home like some sort of out of control government spy satellite and-and..." she began to trail off, suddenly taking interest in Tail's arm all of a sudden. She traced tiny circles with her thumb around his bicep, admiring the feel and texture of his fur. "Tails, has... has your fur _always_ been this soft? It's so plush and huggable. You're like a teddy bear."

"Um, what?" Tails blinked quizzically as Sticks continued to feel up his arm, rather enthusiastically too.

"And these muscles of yours," she purred huskily, tightening her grip on Tails. Her expression changed from concern to avid curiosity. "So taut and strong. Guess working on those machines of yours paid off."

"Wow, I'm glad someone finally noticed," Tails blushed, only to wince as Stick's claws began digging into his supple flesh. "Uh, Sticks. D-do you think you can ease up on the sharp talons. They're starting to hu- Huh!?" he gasped as the girl suddenly pulled him close and buried her face into his chest, causing him to turn as red as Knuckles. She breathed in his natural musk, sighing dreamily as she did so.

"Mmm, oh yeah..." Sticks shuddered uncontrollably, eyelids fluttering in turn. "Motor oil, welding smoke and WD-40. That's the stuff."

"S-Sticks! What's the big idea! Stop it, this is getting really weir- _Oh, no_ ," Tails's pupils shrank to pin pricks when he finally remembered that Sticks was still undergoing feral reversion syndrome, or ' **it** ' as she so eloquently referred to it as. Eggman warned the boys to steer clear of her during this delicate time, _and here he was directly in her clutches_.

Swallowing thickly, he turned his gaze to the amorous badger and gave her a once-over.

Sticks looked _horrible_.

She was never the most hygienic person on the island but at the very least she had a modicum of class for a jungle badger. However, looking at her now it looked as though she'd been tossed through a hurricane and spat out unceremoniously.

Her hair had been undone and was unkempt, her fur matted with sweat and dirt. Her clothes had been torn at and were left dangling off her body in loose shreds. A pungent funk wafted off her being, a mixture of earthy roots and sour berries that stung the nostrils. And her eyes, still as wide and wild as they were before only now they stared at him with all the intensity of a hungry predator eyeing vulnerable prey.

He needed to get out, and he needed to do it fast before she did something both of them will regret.

"Uh, S-Sticks," Tails began, attempting to pull away from the badger. "I-I just remembered. I was supposed to meet up with the gang at Meh Burger. Wouldn't want to be late for our lunch together, heh heh..." He started to back away slowly but Stick held firm, pulling him into her bosom where she held him tight. "Mmpf! Sticks!"

"...I've decided," Stick murmured, gently caressing the boy's ears.

"D-decided what, Sticks?" Tails replied, gulping.

"I've decided that you're the one for me, Tails," Sticks announced proudly, nuzzling his cheek. "You're my perfect mate!"

Tails immediately broke out into a cold sweat at the brash declaration.

This was going to be a loooong day.


	2. Rumble in the Jungle

Tails felt his heart jump up his throat as Sticks drag him to her bed, her grip strong as a bear trap. He struggled every step of the way to no avail, contemplating briefly about gnawing his own arm off in a desperate bid for freedom. But even if he somehow managed to free himself from her iron grip he'd barely make it twenty meters before he gets chased down and dragged kicking and screaming back to her burrow again.

Before he could formulate an escape plan that didn't involve chewing at his own arm, he was casually tossed onto her crude bedding with a thump. The large bed frame was meticulously woven together out of dried reeds and taut vines, simple straw stuffed in a cotton sack was used for the bedding itself while a large cut of animal fur was used as a blanket. It wasn't uncomfortable per se but it was no memory foam mattress.

Biting his lips, he watched as Sticks scrambled towards him impatiently on all fours, pinning him down atop her bed before... rubbing herself against him? Indeed, the feral badger was nuzzling herself against him, making sure to be as close as possible with each little rub.

"Uh... Sticks?" Tails uttered in bewilderment, his voice barely above a squeak. "W-what are you doing?"

"Hmm?" Sticks broke out of her impulse induced stupor and turned to face him, her expression one of hazy contentment. "Oh, I'm just, you know, mixing our scents together."

Tails swallowed thickly. His question came out hesitantly. "Er, may I ask why?"

"Well, it's part of the mating ritual," she replied a matter o' factly.

Tails gulped again, nearly choking on his own spit. "M-mating ritual?!"

"I told you you were my perfect mate," Sticks smiled dreamily. "I want to make sure all the steps get done right before we start making a whole gaggle of little foxes and badgers."

Alarm bells started going off in Tails's head. Sticks wasn't in her right mind but she was bent on making sure his bones get jumped before ' **it** ' ends.

Thinking on his toes, he decided the best course of action was to somehow distract Sticks and then run for the hills.

"So, Sticks," Tails began, his throat uncomfortably dry. "E-exactly how many steps are there to the m-mating ritual, and what exactly do you need to do for each one?"

"Ooh, eager to get to the good part?" Sticks waggled an eyebrow suggestively.

"Heh heh, j-just curious is all," Tails chuckled sheepishly.

"Well!" Sticks pulled off him and rummaged through a nearby pile of junk, pulling out another one of her crude diagrams. "Since you're so interested in the complex intricacies of formal badger mating rituals it'd be best if I thoroughly educate you on the subject before we start bumping uglies."

"Please don't refer to it as that," he grimaced.

"Ahem," Sticks cleared her throat and pointed to the series of crudely drawn images. "In accordance to ancient jungle badger traditions, when courting a desired mate the badger in question, that's me, must perform all the steps of our sacred mating ritual before the union can be completed. Think of it as a binding contract without all the fancy words and clauses and paper."

"H-how fascinating," Tails maintained his facade. Although in truth he was quite interested in knowing the complexity of the jungle badger mating ritual he wasn't at luxury to enjoy any of the knowledge coming his way.

"Anywho," she continued, "there are around fourteen steps, give or take a couple technicalities here and there, that I must complete before we officially consummate our union. Step one: the mixing of scents. The mixing of scents is the first and most crucial step of the ritual, for it is meant to mark the couple and ward off others looking to make a move on their mate."

"Now, step two is..." Sticks became engrossed with her explanation, so much so that she didn't notice it when Tails pulled himself off the bed and propelled himself through the hole he made in the roof, making his daring escape and putting as much distance as he could between him and Sticks. By the time Sticks had concluded her presentation he was deep in the jungles of her home.

"...And that's everything about traditional jungle badger mating rituals in a nutshell. Now, do you have any questions or do you want to get started with it?" She asked, turning to face Tails only to find her bed empty. "T-Tails?" she murmured, her instincts flaring up. It began as a twitch at first, a small flick of the finger or a jerk of the knee. Then, it began spiralling out of control.

Her ears began twitching sporadically, her mouth curled into a devilish smile and her blood began to boil. Something primal had been awakened in her and she embraced the ' **it** ' with open arms.

Tails, her one true mate, was gone, nowhere to be seen. But no matter, she was an expert when it came to tracking down people. She will find him and they can be together again.

By _force_ if necessary.

"Oooh. Playing hard to get, are we?" she cooed, stretching her fingers. "You know how to get this badger excited, don't you, Tails? But I'll find you, and no one, not Eggman, grumpy frogglodites, or evil aliens bent on steadily enslaving everyone through sinister consumer culture are going to get in my way. Heh heh heh... Wait, who am I talking to? Why am I standing here giving a lengthy external monologue when I should be out there hunting Tails down? Come on, Sticks. Get your head in the game."

She began sniffing at the air. Her senses, which were already phenomenal to begin with, had been bolstered even further by the ' **it** '. She could see Tails's scent clear as day, a wispy trail of floating particles that glowed ethereally in the dimness of her burrow.

His scent was still fresh. The acrid tang of machine oil, bitter smoke and fruit scented body wash radiated off him as much as his own natural musk did, coupled with her own scent mixed among all that it created a distinct smell that Sticks could easily follow. He'll be found before he even gets a chance to reach the edge of the jungle.

Sticks's smile widened considerably.

"I'm coming for you, Tails. Heh heh... Why do I keep doing that?"

* * *

Tails ran through the dense jungle as fast as his short little legs could carry him, his twin tail having long since tired out to propel him any further after being damaged by the crash. He cursed his low stamina, feeling his heart throb against his ribcage maddeningly with each step he took. But he couldn't stop, not when Sticks could easily catch up and drag him back to her burrow.

His innocence was at stake.

"Sonic... was right..." Tails muttered in between pants, "I should've... focused more... on cardio. Curse... my insatiable... need to build!"

Eventually his vision started to blur as his stamina finally reached its peak. He slowed in his steps to catch his breath, heaving heavily as his lungs greedily took in oxygen.

"Maybe next time... I'll take up Knuckle's offer... to go to the gym... Phew!" He let out a deep sigh as he came to a complete stop, resting his hands on his knees. He barely got a moment of reprieve however as something blue slammed into him at high speeds, sending him tumbling across the jungle floor. His shock was quickly replaced by relief when he realized that it was Sonic who had crashed into him.

"Sonic!" he cheered, momentarily forgetting his fatigue.

"Tails, you're okay!" Sonic cried in relief and hugged his best friend, who responded in turn. Shortly afterwards Knuckles and Amy rushed onto the scene, helping the two up and back onto their feet.

"Looks like we made it," said Knuckles.

"And not a moment too soon," added Amy. "Did something blow up in your workshop again?" she inquired.

"Oh, that. Heh heh..." Tails grinned sheepishly, scratching at his head. "The Tornado's new parts have some kinks that need ironing out."

"Called it," Knuckles smirked smugly, crossing his arms.

"Regardless, we need to go, now!" Tails continued, feeling nervous again.

"Go? But we just found you," said Sonic.

"I don't have time to explain, but it's about-"

"Found you, Tails!" Stick's shrill voice echoed throughout the trees as she landed atop one of the larger branches with feral grace. She eyed the group below her warily, subtly gauging their capabilities despite knowing exactly what her friends could do.

"Sticks!" Tails panicked.

"Sticks?!" Knuckles, Amy, and Sonic exclaimed together, shocked by her primal appearance.

"Hey, guys! Wonderful day we're having," Sticks greeted warmly before suddenly alternating to a hostile tone. "Hand over the fox and no one gets hurt."

"Sticks, why do you want Tails?" Sonic asked, pulling the fox behind him.

"He's my mate and I've got a mating ritual to complete before we are joined in body, mind and spirit!" Sticks hotly proclaimed, getting ready to pounce.

"Whoa, dude. When I said have some grandkids I didn't mean shack it up with Sticks. Although it's not up to me to decide who you want to be your girlfriend," Sonic chided his friend.

"Guys, she isn't thinking straight! She's still suffering from the ' **it** '!" replied Tails, cheeks burning red.

"Taking advantage of her sickness, Tails? I expected more from you," commented Knuckles, shaking his head in disappointment.

"No, Knuckles. Sticks is the one trying to get to Tails, not the other way around," Amy corrected the echidna. She then turned to face Sticks, hammer at the ready. "Sticks, let's be civil about this. You're not well. You don't really want Tails to be your mate. The ' **it** ' is messing with your head. Your brain is currently being flooded with a cocktail of chemicals that are making you act out in response."

"Ha! That sounds exactly what the little voice in my head said to me when I was dealing with the ' **it** ', so I stopped listening to it!" Sticks growled back. "Besides, you already have Sonic, Amy! So keep your grubby mitts off my fox!"

"I-I' don't know what you're talking about, Sticks!" Amy replied nervously, avoiding eye contact with Sonic.

"Sticks, just back down and go home," Sonic began steadily, raising his hand in pacifism. "Don't do anything you're going to-"

"Hyaaaaaaaaaah!" Sticks leapt off the branch with reckless abandon, bellowing a vigorous warcry as she dove downward, claws at the ready.

"...Regret," Sonic mumbled lamely before taking a defensive stance. "Alright, Sticks. We don't want to hurt you, but since Tails's chastity on the line you leave us no choi- whuah!" He let out a yelp of pain as Sticks blindsided him, sending him flying backwards into a nearby patch of bramble. She vaulted off his body and landed on all fours, baring her teeth for all to see.

"Tails is coming with me!" Sticks hissed before taking off with remarkable speeds. She ran on all fours, instinctually dodging, ducking and weaving through all the blows that Amy and Knuckles were sending at her, making them look almost clumsy in the process.

"Grr... Stay still, Sticks!" Knuckles huffed.

"Make me!" Sticks retorted before leaping onto the unfortunate echidna and gnawing on his head. "Nom, nom, nom!"

"Aaaah! Get her off me! Get her off me!" Knuckles screamed, running around in circles.

"Hold on, Knuckles! I've got her!" Amy shouted as she swung her hammer. It connected with Knuckles head right as the badger mauling him had jumped off, leaving stars to orbit his gnashed noggin. Curiously the sound that came from the blow was reminiscent of tapping a hollow coconut. "Whoops, didn't mean to do that." Amy grinned sheepishly. "How're you doing big guy?"

"I gotta protect a big green rock from a greedy bat lady!" Knuckles muttered in delirium, a goofy smile plastered on his face. He then tipped forward and passed out, snoring away as his consciousness slipped into the land of dreams.

"Alright, Sticks. As your best and only other female friend this has gone only long-" Amy paused mid-sentence. She scanned the clearing around her. Sticks was nowhere to be found, and neither was Tails. "Shoot. That's not good." She grimaced, setting her hammer down.

"Ugh..." Sonic grumbled, pulling himself out of the bramble patch. He winced in pain, thorns covered him from head to toe in an ironic fashion. "What happened?"

"Sticks is gone, and so is Tails," replied Amy, helping the blue hedgehog steady himself.

"Fantastic..." Sonic frowned. "What do we do now?" He asked Amy.

"Now," Amy turned her gaze to Knuckles's unconscious form. "I think it's time we make a plan."


	3. Bird in the Hand

'Pluck'

"Ow!"

'Pluck'

"Ow!'

'Pluck'

"Ow!"

"Sonic. Are you going to keep doing that every time I remove a thorn?" Amy asked, plucking another thorn off his thorn encrusted skin with her tweezers.

"Ow! Yes," Sonic answered lamely.

"Guys, my head is still killing me. Can you keep it down over there?" Knuckles groaned, a bag of ice cubes held close to the bump on his head.

"Sorry, Knuckles. My patient is being a big baby about getting his thorns removed," said Amy, plucking another thorn of Sonic.

"Ouch! But they hurt!" Sonic cried.

"Considering we're both hedgehogs the irony is not lost on me," Amy deadpanned.

The remaining trio of friends had retreated back to Amy's house after their humiliating defeat at the hands of Sticks of all people to lick to their wounds. Tails had been taken during the brawl and now they had to come up with a plan to get him back before Sticks makes him her mate for life.

"So, ow! What's the, ow! Plan? Ow!" Sonic asked.

"Well, we're in no condition to take on Sticks again, that's for sure," replied Amy as she began wrapping bandages all over Sonic's body. "The 'it' has turned her into a primal powerhouse. We were outmatched before, now we're outmanned. You two are in no condition to take on a hormone crazed badger. We're going to need to handle this one with a bit of finesse."

"Hey, I can handle finesse," argued Knuckles, talking to the empty space beside Amy.

"Knuckles, you can barely walk in a straight line after that blow to the head," said Amy, putting away her medical supplies. "And Sonic's gonna need to take it easy for a while, his whole body might as well be one big raw nerve after being turned into a pincushion."

"I can't take it easy, Ames," groaned Sonic as he stood up. "We need to stop Sticks before she verbs Tails's adjective noun." He tried to take a step forward but tripped over his own feet. He rolled over and struck the wall where he collapsed with a thud, a low pained yelp escaping his lips. "...Okay, we might need some help with this one."

"But who else can we ask for help?" asked Knuckles.

"Well, we do know someone that can help," hinted Amy.

"...No. Amy, no. No way. Absolutely not. Nuh uh. Nope," Sonic protested, frowning.

* * *

"Mwuhahahahaha!" Dr. Eggman laughed evilly, his smile wicked and full of utter malice.

"What's got ya in such a good mood boss?" Cubot asked.

"Oh, Cubot. You wonderfully ignorant machine you. I finally outbidded that loathsome Ch4rmyB33 over a vintage tchotchke set on Ebuy," Eggman relished in his victory over an internet opponent. "You've sniped me out of a vintage collectible for the last time bumbling bee! Wallow in your defeat and know that you lost to someone vastly superior to you! This win goes to me, Dr. Eggman!"

"Oh, bother," Orbot groaned, his face in his palm.

Somewhere in the world a purple chameleon and big green crocodile were cheering up their bumblebee friend.

* * *

"Come on, Sonic. You act like this is the first time we've teamed up with Eggman or had him help out Tails," said Amy.

"Yeah. But now he's gonna rub it in all our faces that we needed his help to deal with our problem. I can hear it now, all that gloating coupled with his smug sense of self satisfaction," Sonic grumbled.

"And that's a small price to pay for ensuring Sticks returns to normal and Tails keeping his innocence."

"Grr... I hate it when you're right," Sonic conceded.

"Hmm, I love it when I'm right," Amy smiled smugly.

"Stop that," Sonic grimaced.

"Stop what?" Amy asked innocently.

"Stop doing that thing with your face whenever you're right."

"I think I'm entitled to it, Sonic."

"Grr..."

* * *

Tails had to admit, jungle vines were surprisingly comfortable when used as binding to keep him from fleeing in distress. Nonetheless he lamented the current position he was in.

Once again he found himself in Sticks's clawed clutches, hogtied and hauled over her shoulder face to face like a rolled up rug brought in for a cleaning. Granted she was being uncharacteristically gentle about it, the gesture did little to assuage his frazzled nerves.

"Well, that sure was fun," uttered Sticks, strolling with a spring in her step.

"Attacking our friends and tying me up is your idea of fun?" Tails questioned incredulously.

"In a way," She continued unabated. "Besides, our friends are tough. They can handle a little boo boo. Plus it was your idea for starting step two of the mating ritual anyway."

He gulped. "W-what's step two?"

"The one where you flee and I attack those defending you, otherwise known as the trial of fidelity. The badger must chase her mate down and defeat those barring their way, proving to all the lengths she'd go to in order to be with them. Come on, weren't you paying attention to all the details I was giving you?"

If Tails could move his hands he'd smack himself in the face.

"Anywho, I'm glad you're so passionate about completing the mating ritual with me. Most couples would've chickened out after the first step." Sticks smiled.

"Gee, I can't imagine why," Tails grinned weakly.

"But you're a real trooper, Tails. That's what I like about you. I honestly can't picture myself being with anyone else." She blushed, something that caught Tails completely off guard.

"Y-you don't really m-mean that," stuttered Tails, his twin tails having gone twirly with embarrassment. "S-Sticks, listen to me. You're not well. It's the ' **it** ' that's doing this. You don't really have feelings for me like you think you do. You're acting entirely on instinct and I just happened to be the unlucky fool caught in the middle of it all. If it were Dave or Fastidious Beaver that had crashed through your roof instead of me you'd act the same way."

"That's not true," Sticks whispered, coming to a stop. Her expression was unusually pensive for someone so impulsive, irrational and paranoid. "I've... I-I mean... You see..." She shook her head, and continued walking. "It's not what you think it is. Let's just leave it at that."

"I don't understand," said Tails, curious at Sticks sudden bout of hesitation.

"The only thing that you've got to understand is that step three is already underway," She proclaimed gleefully.

"Oh, joy..." Tails grimaced.

The trip back to Sticks's burrow was largely uneventful. When they returned Sticks had to undo all the barricades she had put up to keep herself locked in since it was now a moot point.

Upon entry Tails was safely deposited back onto her bed where she undid his bindings and allowed him to wander freely around her home. She knew that he knew that she knew that if he tried to make another run for it she'd just drag him back again and all it would serve to do is fan the flames of her affections even further.

The smartest move that Tails could make at the moment was to sit tight and hope that his friends could bail him out before he is ultimately joined in a blessed union with Sticks.

The horrid thought began to shape in his mind and he shuddered at the vision of his potential future with her.

* * *

**We now return to 'A Sticks's Tails'**

"Honey, I'm home!" Tails exclaimed cheerfully, coming into his workshop burrow hybrid home dressed in a full suit and carrying a briefcase.

***Audience Applause***

He undid his tie and entered the living room where his children were watching television. Two little rascals, a diminutive fox boy with two tails and excitable badger girl, leapt into their father's arms without hesitation, nuzzling him affectionately as he could only laugh joyfully in response.

"Taylor, Twigs! Take it easy, I just got home," said Tails.

"Welcome back father," Taylor, the fox prodigy, greeted politely.

"Great to have ya back pops!" Twigs, the badger with no concept of an indoor voice, exclaimed.

***Audience Awws***

"Now, where's your mother?" asked Tails.

"I'm in here, Tails!" Sticks called from inside the kitchen. She came out wearing a slipshot looking apron carrying what looked like roadkill on a plate. "Dinner is served." She plopped the plate onto the dining room table, much to the visible look of disgust on her family's face.

***Canned Laughter***

"Looks like we're having mom's roadkill special, again," quipped Taylor, turning a dark shade of green.

"Oh boy, my favorite!" shouted Twigs.

***Canned Laughter***

"H-honey, I thought we'd agree no more roadkill specials," said Tails. "The market exists for a reason."

"Yeah, but with the economy the way it is I figured it'd be better to source our own food locally," replied Sticks as she began carving up the meal. "Besides, I didn't have to pay a dime for this beauty. You can tell it's fresh because of the tire mark."

"Honestly if they charged you for roadside refuse then it'd be considered _highway robbery_ ," quipped Tails, earning a round of chuckles from his family.

***Canned Laughter***

"Come on, dig in before it gets cold," said Sticks.

***Knock* *Knock***

"Who's at the door?" Taylor asked as the door swung open, revealing a big red echidna dressed in urban casualwear carrying a bowling bag.

"Knock, knock. It's Knuckles!" Knuckles announced his catch phrase with a toothy grin.

***Audience Cheer***

"Heya, Knuckles. What are you doing here," said Tails.

"Oh, Tails. You already know the answer to that. It's bowling night," replied Knuckles. "Me and Sonic are waiting on you so we can finally beat Team Dark and bring home the coveted Ten Pins bowling trophy."

"Tails, did you schedule to have a bowling tournament on family dinner night?" Sticks questioned, impatiently tapping her feet.

***Audience Oohs***

"Er... No?" Tails lied with a shaky grin.

***Canned Laughter***

**Well, now. Looks like Tails is caught between a seven-ten split.**

**Will he bowl a spare, or is Sticks gonna have him throwing gutter balls?**

**Find out after this commercial break.**

* * *

Tails felt a chill run down his spine.

He wasn't ready for the life of a domestic husband. There were still so many things to build, villains to thwart and adventures to have. He couldn't settle down with Sticks, have kids and live a fulfilling life rich with personal experience and wonder. Well, not yet at least. But that's neither here nor there.

Taking a seat, Tails activated his communicator watch and dialed in the team once Sticks was out of earshot.

"Sonic? Come in, Sonic. Are you there? It's me, Tails."

"...Tails?" Sonic voice came through. "Tails, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Sticks neglected to take my communicator."

"Or maybe she just doesn't care," it was Amy who spoke this time.

"Whatever the case, please tell me you guys have a plan," Tails asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Well, we do..." Sonic started, "But it kinda involves a team up with Dr. Eggman."

"Eggman, really?"

"Would you prefer it if we'd gone to Shadow for help?" asked Amy.

"...Eggman is fine," conceded Tails.

"Only the best for you buddy," quipped Sonic. "Anywho, how are things on your end? Is this a race against the clock? Did Sticks already, you know, verb your adjective noun?"

"Thankfully not. Sticks is real adamant about doing the mating ritual properly. If we can stall her maybe we can wait out the 'it' and she'll return to normal."

"That's actually what we had in mind," said Amy. "The situation is delicate, so we're handling it with care."

"Well, whatever you have in mind, you might wanna speed it up. If Sticks ends up being completely endearing and sympathetic during the ritual I might come down with Stockholm syndrome and support her in her endeavors," Tails whispered.

"We're double timing it buddy. Sonic out," Sonic concluded as the communication line when quiet.

Just as the communicator blinked off Sticks entered the room carrying a bag full of supplies. She was humming a tune to herself and she approached Tails, spilling out the contents of the bag onto the table beside her bed.

"Tails, lay down face down on the bed and we can begin step three of the mating ritual," said Sticks.

"Do I have a choice?" Tails asked.

"Only if you want to make it a challenge for me," Sticks winked.

"Bed it is!" Tails spoke a little too quickly. He flopped onto the bed and braced for whatever it was that Sticks was going to do.

With his eyes squeezed shut, he flinched as he felt Sticks run her hand along his two tails. She was being rough, running them along the length of his tails vigorously, massaging them with a homemade salve. It was painful at first, but after a while she achieved a comfortable rhythm that caused the salve to warm up and sooth his aching extremities. Before long Tails felt his stress melt away as he achieved a temporary state of bliss.

"Oooh, that feels good..." Tails gushed. He hadn't felt this relaxed in weeks.

"You like that?" Sticks cooed.

"Very much so." Tails smiled contently.

"I didn't forget about your injuries. Gotta make sure my mate is taken care of for step three, otherwise known as the cherishing of the mate."

"This step ain't so bad."

"Thanks. The voices in my head made the instructions very clear."

"And it just became weird again," Tails deadpanned.

"Then let's make it unweird!" Sticks exclaimed as she hopped over to massage his back. She mounted Tails, causing him to gasp at the sudden weight pressing against him. She then used her strong hands to work out of the knots in the shoulders, vigorously kneading and massaging his sore muscles like an expert masseuse. If he was blissful before, he was experiencing downright nirvana now.

"When I'm through with you you'll be flexible enough to try out all the fun positions I've got in mind," commented Sticks, kneading an elbow around Tails's lower back.

"Oooh... The gang better hurry," Tails muttered into the mattress. "Because at this rate I might as well marry her..."


	4. Spring in the Step

Reaching Dr. Eggman's formidible island fortress posed a bit of a challenge for the remaining trio seeing as the Tornado was currently defunct. They had taken a boat to get there but spent the better half of an hour trying to get Sonic to stay calm while at sea. Even when covered head to toe in pool floaties he couldn't stop shaking throughout the whole trip, much to Knuckles and Amy's amusement.

Eventually they made it to Eggman's front door. Amy walked up and rang the doorbell where a camera and large computer screen folded down and activated its display to reveal Eggman in all his evil glory.

"Well, if it isn't my good friend, Amy Rose," said Eggman. "I thought our session of Fuzzy Puppies was scheduled for Saturday."

"It still is, but that's not why we're here," replied Amy.

"We?" Eggman's camera zoomed out where he finally noticed Knuckles and Sonic standing beside her, the latter of which was wearing an embarrassing number of pool floaties. "Well, if it isn't my arch nemesis, Sonic the Hedgehog and his friend Nickles the Echidna. What do you want? You do realize we've accomplished our climatic battle quota for the day?"

Sonic groaned and swallowed his pride. He reached into his scarf and pulled out his wallet where he presented a punch card with the Eggman Industries logo stamped on it. "Egghead, we've come to you seeking your help on a very delicate matter. As per the universal policy on protagonist and antagonist relations I'm cashing in my rewards points to call in for a temporary team up for the duration of this dire situation."

"Oh, boy! A hero, villain team up. Hadn't had one of those in a while. Guess that means I gotta postpone the shrink ray plan until next week. You'll all remain normal sized... for now," Eggman concluded ominously.

"It means a lot to us, Tails especially, that you're lending a hand to your mortal enemies, Dr. Eggman," said Amy.

"What's so special about Tails?"

"Sticks is trying to, what did she say again? _Ride his majestic stallion_?" said Knuckles.

"Oh, no way!" exclaimed Eggman as he broke out in hearty laughter. "Don't tell me that twin tailed shrimp dropped in on your feral friend and now he's got to deal with her FRS. That's hilarious!"

"That is precisely what has happened," said Sonic.

"That poor little schmuck. He's in the deep end of the pool now. And here I was thinking Dave would be the poor sod to be on the receiving end of her feral nonsense. He certainly deserves it for all the times he's messed up my order."

"Honestly things would be so much easier to deal with if it had been Dave," commented Amy.

"No arguments here," said Knuckles.

"Ditto," said Sonic.

"Say, why don't you come inside and we'll formulate a plan together. I'll make those tiny pizza bagels everyones so crazy over," suggested Eggman.

"Ooh-ho! It'll be like a sleepover!" Amy exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh, joy," Sonic deadpanned.

"Dibs on the sofa," said Knuckles.

* * *

By the time Sticks was done with _the cherishing of the mate_ , Tails felt like a new fox. His muscles were no longer sore and he was as limber as a rope of red licorice. Rejuvenated was an understatement, he felt as if he could take on Eggman and his badnik army all by himself and still have some energy leftover to toil in the workshop.

He laid on his back on Sticks's bed, smiling in contentment. His mood of internal terror and outward distress were all but forgotten as he lost himself to the unreasonable levels of comfort he was experiencing. In fact, he was enjoying his moment of peace so much that he didn't even register Sticks cuddling beside him.

Speaking of the badger, she was lost in her own little world. With her brain out of whack all she could think about was her time with Tails. She remained close to him, making sure there weren't any gaps in between their embrace.

"Ah... I could stay like this forever," mumbled Tails.

"Then why don't you?" asked Sticks, snuggling up against Tails.

"Because I... I..." Tails racked at his brain to come up with an answer. It was on the tip of his tongue but with how relaxed he was it was difficult to remember why he was so worried earlier. "Because, uh... Because..." Eventually it came to him like a bolt of lightning and he quickly sat up, his face contorted in worry. "Because I can't settle down!"

He leapt off the bed and backed away from Sticks, his senses back on full alert. Sticks on the other hand watched the fox's sudden epiphany with quiet amusement, her dreamy expression locking amorous eyes with his trepidatious own.

"Are you gonna try and run again?" She asked seductively. "I could chase you around and tie you back up again. You seem to really like being tied up like a double agent that's been captured by an enemy government. Maybe you'd want to be _interrogated_ by me for being a spy that infiltrated my heart?"

"That's not true!" Tails blushed profusely. "I-I mean... Hey! Why don't we move on to step four of the mating ritual."

"I'd thought you'd never ask," Stick smirked as she hopped to her feet and readied herself for a pounce. She then lunged straight at Tails and together they were joined in a wild dance where the poor boy was being swung around like a rag doll around her burrow. "Step four is the dance of the badger. A traditional dance meant to gauge the compatibility of the couple. It also doubles as a dance to ward off ghosts and telemarketers."

"I! Think! I! Liked! Step! Three! Better!" yelled Tails.

"You should be thankful step three made you limber enough to endure this!" shouted Sticks. "One wrong move and you could end up a pretzel!"

"Sonic! Help!" Tails cried as Sticks picked up the rhythm.

"Alright, Tails. Here comes the hard part. Brace for the spine snapper side step shuffle!"

* * *

Sonic shuddered suddenly, drawing attention from Amy.

"Sonic? Is something wrong?" Amy asked.

"I feel a disturbance in the speed force. As though my best bud is being forced to dance to the whims of a madwoman," Sonic uttered in horror. "Eggman, hurry up with those pizza bagels. I need some munchies to calm my nerves."

"Hold your blue horses, they're coming," Eggman grumbled, setting a tray of piping hot pizza bagels onto his coffee table. Sonic and Knuckles were seated on the sofa beside Eggman as they watched the tray of snacks with watering mouths. Nearby on the couch Orbot was casually braiding Amy's quills to pass the time while Cubot was being used as a screen projector to display a cheesy action film.

"Your quills are so soft," commented Orbot.

"Thanks, I used a special herbal blend to keep it soft and pointy," replied Amy.

"Okay. Now that we're settled in," Sonic paused to pop a pizza bagel into his mouth. "How are we going to stop Sticks from sinking Tails's ironclad battleship? Blegh. All these euphemisms are starting to get to me."

"I dunno. I kinda like it. It keeps things pg while implying something much more mature so you can slip things past a younger audience and appeal to a periphery demographic at the same time," commented Cubot.

"Cubot's sequitur aside," Eggman began. "Just what do you have in mind about your nutbag friend and her unfortunate victim."

"We need to distract her long enough for the ' **it** ' to wear off so she can return to her senses. And by her senses I mean her usual mental state of rampant paranoia and impulsiveness," said Amy.

"' **It** '? Is that what you all call feral reversion syndrome?" Eggman asked quizzically. "Not very imaginative."

"Hey, don't look at us. It's what Sticks calls it," said Knuckles.

"I guess the bar isn't set very high for creativity when you've lived in the wilderness your whole life."

"Regardless, we need to come up with a way to attract her attention and draw her away from Tails," said Amy. "Right now he's all she can think about."

"Yeah, if only we knew what thoughts consume Sticks every waking moment that we can exploit for our benefit. Hmm... Nope, nothing comes to mind," said Knuckles.

"Hold on, Knuckles. Your genius is showing."

"Where?!" Knuckles shouted in a panic, covering himself with his arms.

"There's only one thing in the whole wide world that Sticks can't ignore even for the briefest of moments."

"Free samples?" said Sonic.

"Weirdly shaped rocks that look like us?" said Knuckles.

"Pie?" suggested Eggman.

"A fulfilling life experience?" said Orbot.

"Oh! Is it free samples!" said Cubot.

"I already said that," said Sonic.

"No, it's none of those!" snapped Amy. "It's _conspiracy theories_! Sticks is a conspiracy nut!"

"Oh, right," Sonic blinked. "That was gonna be my next guess."

"Sure it was," Amy deadpanned. "But what we have to do is draw her out by pretending to be government agents or aliens or government agents pretending to be aliens. Sticks will come running without a moment of hesitation, then we can trap her."

"That plan is crazy enough to work," said Eggman.

"Crazy enough for Sticks, that's for sure," quipped Sonic.

"We should probably enact the plan tomorrow though. It's starting to get pretty late and we need our rest," suggested Amy. "Thankfully we've got some wiggle room. Sticks won't make a move on Tails until she completes her mating ritual."

"Ah, it warms my heart knowing one of my nemeses is suffering a fate worse than death. I should probably enjoy this moment while it lasts," said Eggman.

"We came to this guy for help?" Sonic looked over to Amy.

"Just roll with it, it's not all that bad," assured Amy.

"I can practically picture the look of abject terror frozen upon his face!" Eggman laughed maniacally.

* * *

Tails screamed with an abject look of terror frozen on his face as the dance of the badger kicked into high gear. Sticks was an aggressive dancer, passionate and full of fire. Her fingers were interlocked with Tails and he was left at the mercy of her whims as she sauntered back and forth, to and fro to the beat of her pounding heart. The dance itself had been short but the moves took a surprising level of dexterity to achieve.

When the dance was done she came to a complete stop, her heart pounding rapidly within her chest and her fur glistening with sweat. Tails was much the same only he was pretty sure his heart was racing faster. He was dangling limply a couple inches off the ground, a reminder that he was shorter than Sticks. Gently Sticks set him down on his feet where the poor fox began shaking like a branch in the wind.

"Phew, what a workout. Nothing like some aggressive dancing to get the blood pumping, wouldn't you say Tails?" said Sticks.

"W-whatever you say, S-Sticks," replied Tails, his whole body trembled uncontrollably. "D-do you think w-we can take a bit of a b-break? I d-dunno if my body can handle a-any more strenuous a-activities."

"Well, then. It's a good thing step five is all about taking it easy."

"I-it is?" A hopeful smile curled on Tails's lips. "Y-you know, I'm starting to s-sense a bit of a p-pattern here."

"Wow, you really are the smart one of the group," Sticks teased before extending a hand. "Come on, you'll like this one."


	5. Toaster in the Tub

"Come on, just a little bit further," said Sticks, leading Tails along by his hand.

Sticks guided Tails to a part of her burrow he'd never seen before, not that he knew much about her home to begin with, but to think she had a private hot spring nearby all this time and he never knew about it.

From what he could surmise, the water came from the melted snow on the ice capped mountains and flowed through the river into one of the many natural alcoves that dotted the jungle while the heat came from the lava vents beneath the caves where the frogglodites lived. This created a perfect environment for natural hot springs to form, and Sticks just so happens to have one conveniently located near her home.

"This is incredible," Tails said in awe. "How come you've never told any of us about these?"

"Because it's my one and only special bathtub and I don't want no peeping toms, government spy satellites or albino aliens spying on me from orbit when I take my biweekly bath! You hear me! I know you're out there, I'm onto you!" Sticks shouted at the sky. "Cept for you, I wouldn't mind if it were you."

"Uh, I'm flattered?" Tails replied awkwardly. "Y-you know, you should probably make bathing a habit every few days instead of biweekly."

"So you have more chances to peep on me?" Sticks smiled wryly. Tails became red at her not so subtle implication.

"I-I wouldn't do that. I'm a good guy, honest!" he stuttered out quickly. Sticks giggled in response.

"Oh, I know you are. You're the village's boy scout after all," Sticks teased. "A very handsome and deceptively robust boy scout."

"Sticks, despite how much I enjoy all this constant praise you're showering me with, you do know I'm actively trying to prevent you from buttering my whole wheat toast."

"And you know that I enjoy it when you do that. Adds a bit of spice to our chemistry. Makes it all the sweeter once the mating ritual is complete," Sticks continued unabated.

"We're here!" she announced, gesturing to the shallow pool of bubbling waters before her. Steam gently wafted off the surface of the greenish blue pool, dimly lit by bioluminescent mushrooms growing on the wall of the alcove and the silver light of the moon. Nearby was a bowl of sweet smelling potpourri and a mason jar filled with an herbal paste.

"Quite the setup you've got here," Tails noted. "Very... Sticks-ish." The sound of jingling and ruffling diverted his attention from the hot spring to Sticks where he immediately regretted locking eyes with her.

He thought for sure his heart was finally going to stop that time because Sticks was nonchalantly stripping down in front of him. She tore her clothes off like they'd caught fire, absentmindedly tossing them aside the shredded rags they were. Only her jewelry was kept intact. In the pale moonlight Tails witnessed Sticks in all her untamed glory. Life in the wilds had forged her into a stunning, if paranoid and apprehensive, specimen.

"Like what you see?" Sticks whispered huskily as she dropped her ruined top to the floor.

Tails was left speechless, or rather he was trying to speak but whatever words that left his throat came out sounding like a gas leak as he gaped at Sticks. The speed at which he turned around and covered his eyes would've made Sonic green with envy. His cheeks flared up and the ambient temperature suddenly became far too hot for his liking, though granted the heat may have been due to the hot spring.

"I-I-I didn't see anything!" Tails squeaked, causing Sticks to roll her eyes.

"Come here you," Sticks walked over and grabbed the boy, stripping him of his sparse ensemble of a pair of shoes, work harness, goggles and sports tape. He was still too embarrassed to protest her manhandling him, but by time he'd worked up the courage to speak she'd already led him over to the hot spring where she jumped in with the fox in tow. There was a splash and the two were engulfed in the soothing waters.

Tails was the first to surface, gasping for air as he did. Sticks was next, flicking her head back and letting her long hair rest along her back as she leaned against the side of the spring.

"How do you like step five so far?" asked Sticks.

" *Cough* *Cough* Step five is a bath?" Tails questioned incredulously, wringing out his tails. Sticks smiled back at him.

"Step five is the couple's cleansing, but yeah, it's pretty much just taking a bath together," replied Sticks as she moved closer to Tails. "Feels nice though, doesn't it?"

"The water does feel nice..." said Tails, resting up against the spring. He averted his gaze from Sticks, doing his best to remain a courteous gentleman. Nevermind the fact that he was currently naked in a hot spring with Sticks.

"...Tails, look at me," Sticks pouted, sounding annoyed. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed herself against him, earning a high pitched yelp in response.

"I-I think I'm good," Tails mumbled beneath the waters.

"Tails, don't make me say it," Sticks pressed. When she didn't receive a response she let out a long sigh, her lips curling into a mischievous smile. She leaned forward and whispered hotly into his ear, "...You're a hypocrite, you know that?"

"A-am not!" Tails weakly retorted, turning to meet Sticks eye to eye. "Wait, what am I a hypocrite of?" Sticks pulled off him and floated back, keeping her mischievous gaze upon him, a low giggle escaping her lips.

"You're smart. You'll figure it out," she responded vaguely. "Well, how about that? You're looking at me."

The realization hit Tails like a ton of bricks. He attempted to turn away again, only for Sticks to stop him dead in his tracks. She brought them close together once more, reveling in the cute face he made as he looked on in shock.

"Gotcha now," Sticks gave him a toothy grin. "Now, close your eyes..."

Tails complied with her and shut his eyes. His lips quivered in anticipation. Sticks wasn't going to try anything with him, was she? The mating ritual wasn't complete yet. His mind raced, sifting through every possible scenario that was waiting for him beyond the darkness of his vision. What he didn't expect was to feel something wet and viscous to be slapped over his head. It felt as if she'd dumped pancake batter on him.

"Keep those eyes closed, Tails. This paste stings something fierce if it gets in your eyes," said Sticks as she worked her hands all over his fur, lathering up a soapy maelstrom around the two of them. "Okay, now. Deep breathe."

"Whua-!?" Tails barely got a word out before he was dunked beneath the waters, cleansing him of all the soap that clung to his fur. When Sticks pulled him back up his pelt shone beneath the moonlight like a fancy set of fine china. "Blegh! Pft, pft! Ugh, it tastes like Amy's candles!"

"Whoopsie. Must've gotten some soap in your mouth," said Sticks, leaning in and sniffing the clean fox. "But you smell like a bundle of fresh picked flowers." She handed him a small clump of her homemade soap paste. "Now, do me."

"Uh..." Tails looked at the soap paste in his hand, then back to Sticks.

"It's part of step five, Tails. The couple must cleanse each other. That's what it's called the _couple's cleansing_. It's pretty self explanatory. Sheesh, for someone who can build mumbo jumbo robot gizmos out of kitchen appliances context clues elude you apparently."

"Er, okay then. Here I go." Tails had never done anything like this before, well not on anyone other than himself that is.

He did what came to him naturally and began lathering up Sticks's hair. He treated it with the utmost care, noting the coarseness of the texture. There was a lot of hair to work with, most of it sun damaged and split from irregular care. Bits of twig, small pebbles, insect bits and dirt clumps slid off into the water as he ran his fingers along the length of her hair, returning its natural shine and bright earthy coloration.

In the quiet of the night, where the only sound he could hear was the churning of the water and the chirping of the crickets, Tails found himself lost in the moment. In spite of his predicament he couldn't deny that there was a sense of peacefulness when he was with Sticks, strange as it were. Even if she still had plans to paint his blank canvas the time they've spent together, while hectic and utterly nonsensical, wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"Sonic, Amy, Knuckles. I hope you know what you're doing," Tails muttered beneath his breath.

"What was that?" Sticks asked.

"I-I said, it's time for the rinse!" uttered Tails quickly. "Deep breathe." Sticks took in a lungful of air as Tails dunked her under the water. He pulled her back up a few seconds later and was shocked at how different Sticks looked like when she was clean.

He stared slack-jawed as she rose from the waters like the sirens of myth, illuminated by glimmering moonlight as her hair settled across her shoulder. For the briefest of moments she looked so innocent, so pure, so sumptuous. She was the very essence of woman lifted straight from the high class world of renaissance art.

...Then the moment was completely ruined as she let out a rude belch, forming a series of bubbles that floated lazily in front of the couple before popping unceremoniously.

"Heh heh. I, uh, swallowed some of the water on the way up," Sticks grinned sheepishly.

"..." Tails gawked at Sticks like she'd grown two heads. How someone could be so mercurial he hadn't the foggiest idea.

Then something unprecedented happened.

"Pfft, pfft."

He began to laugh.

It started out as a snort, then it became a chortle.

Before long he broke out into full blown hysterics, whooping and guffawing into the night right in front of her face.

"Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Sticks followed suit with Tails's sudden joviality. She broke out into laughter alongside him, chuckling and hollering uncontrollably in good cheer until they ran out of breath.

"I... I think it's time to get out of the hot spring," said Tails, turning away. Even though he and Sticks had shared a poignant moment in their relationship (however far that may go) he was still shy about nudity. _Ironic_. "You go first, I'll dry off after."

"Oh, no. That won't do," said Sticks, casually dragging Tails out of the water and onto the alcove. "Better to do this together quickly, before either of us catch a cold, and we wouldn't want that. Big pharma will bleed you dry of your hard earned money for over the counter cold medication." She stood in front of him, fur matted and dripping wet.

"Observe." She dropped on all fours and shook wildly, drying herself like how a dog would. Water practically slipped off her pelt at the sheer speed of her undulation, spraying the air with a fine mist that dissipated into the night air. In no time flat she was dry as a bone, her fur fluffing out slightly as a result of her shaking. "There we go. Nothing to it. Now, you try."

"Heh heh, you know. I think it would be best if I had a towel or maybe a hair dryer because I don't think I can undulate that fast. I might get whiplash if I try," said Tails, subconsciously averting his eyes from Sticks.

"Well, it's no problem then. I'll help you out," said Sticks, pulling a vine off from a nearby tree.

"Why, thank you, Sticks. Although I don't see how a vine is going to help dry my fu- Hey, what are you doing?" Tails watched in bemusement Sticks began wrapping the vine around his body, coiling it from the bottom of his shins up to his shoulders.

"You know, it's a good thing I didn't serve you dinner yet. That's step six," Sticks grinned right as she tugged vigorously against the vine, pulling it like a ripcord.

With savage strength Sticks turned Tails into a foxy top, spinning him dry as the world around him faded into an inky blur of shining starlight. When he finally slowed to a stop he collapsed backwards onto Sticks, who caught him as he struggled to keep his eyes from spinning around in their sockets. He could feel his lunch threaten to evacuate his stomach but thankfully he had enough willpower and physical fortitude to keep it down.

"Ugh, is step five done yet?" He mumbled as he righted himself.

"Just about," replied Sticks. "Ah, nothing like a bath before dinner, wouldn't you agree?"

"I'll admit I am peckish," said Tails as his stomach growled shortly after. "I never did get to go to Meh Burger with the others since I crashed here and became entangled in your neurologically induced madness."

"Funny how life works out, eh?" Sticks smirked as she began putting her jewelry back on. She handed Tails his gear, which he immediately began dressing himself with behind the privacy of a nearby bush. He came out looking fresh as a daisy, much to Sticks's captivation. "Wow, you clean up nice."

"Heh heh, so I'm told," Tails blushed, scratching the back of his neck. "So, um, are you going back to your burrow dressed in only, er, that?"

"What's wrong with that?" Sticks tilted her head to the side.

"N-nothing..." Tails turned around and started making his way back to her abode. "I'll go on ahead." He kept a good ten paces in front of her, making sure to keep his vision directly forward at all times.

"Taking charge, Tails?" Sticks said from behind. "A fox after my own heart."

"Just keep walking Tails," he muttered to himself, his cheeks burning. "One foot in front of the other. Left, right, left, right..."


	6. Tingle in the Tongue

Tails had never been more relieved than he was now that Sticks had finally dressed herself after trailing behind him dressed only in her jewelry. Granted it was her usual three piece ensemble of stitched together patchwork oddities it was a far cry better than seeing her casually sauntering around him in the buff. She'd even taken the time to redo her hair back into that boomerang shape he was so fond of, it definitely made her look a lot less crazy.

Well, less crazy for Sticks at least.

Regardless of her tumultuous psyche, Sticks and Tails were back at her burrow where they were currently undergoing step six of the mating ritual, known as the meal between mates. Just as step five was more or less taking a bath together, step six was simply having dinner together. A totally ordinary dinner amongst two good friends whose relationship is completely platonic.

"Oh, who am I kidding," Tails mumbled to himself quietly. "If I couldn't have a normal bath together without freaking out every two seconds who knows how dinner will go?"

Tails sighed, resting his head upon his hand. He was seated by Sticks's table, a large wooden slab that had been cut straight from the trunk of a large tree. Much like everything else in her home it had been crafted by hand. Nearby Sticks was preoccupied with cooking, preparing a meal with fresh ingredients she'd foraged herself on a crude stone oven.

As he waited for the food to come, his mind wandered to her burrow.

He'd only been at Sticks's home a handful of times before. Most everyone would either spend time at Amy's chic house, Sonic's cozy beachside shack or his utilitarian workshop when it came to hanging out. Knuckles didn't have a permanent residence, mostly because he was the outdoorsy type and because the village couldn't handle him bringing property values down. Amy was the only person who he could think of that spends time at Stick's burrow regularly.

He noted how drastic the difference was from his own workshop. Apart from the fact that it was a huge dugout carved into the hillside, most if not all of Stick's furnishings and personal effects were made by hand. From the chair he was sitting on to the decor hanging on the walls she had crafted it all using primitive tools, natural materials and quintessential ingenuity. She was a regular artisan with skill and technique born of necessity.

Staring at the furniture only served to reinforce the disparity between their outlook on technology. It was no secret that he and Sticks were polar opposites, what with him being a gearhead technophile and Sticks being a technophobic sylvan. He'd just never known how profound the difference was now that he had gotten to be a bit more intimate with her.

However, a part of him couldn't help but acknowledge their similarities.

They were both clearly skilled with their hands. If they wanted or needed something they would build it. He built wondrous, if occasionally faulty, machinery. Sticks crafted mundane but otherwise effective tools and traps. The medium may have been different, Tails worked with metal and synthetics while Sticks used wood and plant fibers, but the mindset was the same. If anything they embodied the principles of invention, and were two sides of the same coin.

The similarities didn't end there.

They were also inquisitive in their own way; Tails with his avid sense of curiosity and Sticks with her unreasonable line of questioning.

They were intelligent; Tails had his calculating logic and Sticks had her survival instinct.

They both had blue eyes, loved good jokes, taking on challenges, fighting Eggman, spending time with their friends, complaining about Meh Burger's appalling lack of food safety standards, dealing with the unknown, breaking the fourth wall. The list goes on and on.

Perhaps they were more alike than he was willing to admit.

Tails shuddered involuntarily.

Somehow his thoughts segued from Sticks's home to Sticks herself. He mentally kicked himself for seeing Sticks beyond an amicable light. He kept telling himself that she was unwell, that her actions and thought process were dictated by a chemical imbalance in her brain. This perceived affection towards him wasn't genuine and he shouldn't take advantage of that fact.

However...

* * *

" _-you're a real trooper, Tails. That's what I like about you. I honestly can't picture myself being with anyone else." She blushed, something that caught Tails completely off guard._

" _Y-you don't really m-mean that," stuttered Tails, his twin tails having gone twirly with embarrassment. "S-Sticks, listen to me. You're not well. It's the '_ _ **it**_ _' that's doing this. You don't really have feelings for me like you think you do. You're acting entirely on instinct and I just happened to be the unlucky fool caught in the middle of it all. If it were Dave or Fastidious Beaver that had crashed through your roof instead of me you'd act the same way."_

" _That's not true," Sticks whispered, coming to a stop. Her expression was unusually pensive for someone so impulsive, irrational and paranoid. "I've... I-I mean... You see..." She shook her head, and continued walking. "It's not what you think it is. Let's just leave it at that."_

* * *

Tails snapped out of his focus when a tantalizing aroma tickled his nose. His thoughts became one with his growling stomach and everything else became moot.

Turning to the source of the wonderful smell Tails watched as Sticks tended to the flames, maintaining a keen eye over it as she idly turned over a plethora of kebabs roasting atop the stone oven. While she was by no means a professional chef, Sticks could tell from experience when to act to achieve the best possible results. The smell of roasted vegetables and herb crusted rabbit meat made his mouth water and his tails twirl in ravenous anticipation.

"Stop that," Tails grumbled, restraining his excited tails.

"Your body betrays your true feelings, Tails," quipped Sticks, placing the kebabs on a large banana leaf. She set them down on the table along with some flatbread where Tails took a big whiff of it, smacking his lips in response.

"I can't help it. I'm starving." Tails smiled sheepishly.

"Well then, let's get step six started!" Sticks proclaimed.

Tails chuckled. "Don't mind if I do!" He reached over to grab one of the kebabs, only for Sticks to quickly swat his hand away at the last second. "Yeowch! What was that for?"

"Uh, uh, uh!" tutted Sticks. "So impatient, Tails. We've got to complete steps properly."

"Hmph," Tails harrumphed, crossing his arms. "Now I feel dumb thinking something was gonna go right for once. Alright, enlighten me, Sticks. What are we supposed to do for step six?"

Sticks grinned and tore off a piece of flatbread. She then picked up one of the kebabs and wrapped the flatbread around it, pulling off an appropriately sized chunk before holding it up to Tails's muzzle.

"Say, ah!" She cooed.

"A-ah!" Tails nervously complied, opening his mouth as Sticks gingerly fed him. He partook the victual with more enthusiasm than he would've liked to show, savoring the tenderness of the meat and the crispness of the vegetable with relish. When he swallowed his eyes lit up to the flavors that tingled his taste buds. "That was... amazing!" he exclaimed. "You eat like this everyday?"

"Mmhmm. One of the benefits of living off the land. Well, that and hiding from the government and their mind control rays," replied Sticks, preparing another kebab chunk. She held out the chunk as Tails happily chowed on it, drinking in the sight of his gastronomic bliss. Seeing him enjoy her food made her happy knowing she could satisfy her chosen mate's hunger.

"It's leagues better than the drek they serve down at Meh Burger," said Tails. "Then again, the bar isn't set very high to begin with."

"I thought we ate there to take pity on Dave?" said Sticks, raising an eyebrow.

"No, we eat there because Meh Burger is the only fast food franchise on the entire island. If you wanted something other than a grease soaked heart attack on a bun drier than the desert you'd have to sail over to the other islands."

"It's a conspiracy I tell you," uttered Sticks, frowning.

"With you, when isn't it?" Tails casually inquired.

"Hmm... Good point," replied Sticks. "By the way, how're you liking dinner so far?"

"Oh, it's been phenomenal! The meal, the company, the cozy atmosphere. It's all great. You know, I wouldn't mind eating like this with you everyda-" Tails caught himself at the last second, his expression of joy morphing into one of silent panic. He's fallen into her insidious trap like the fool he was. "Uh, oops?" he drawled dumbly.

"Eh, what was that, Tails?" Sticks teased playfully, cupping a hand to her ear. "For a moment it sounded like you wouldn't mind being together with me. Is that what I'm hearing?"

"No! I mean, yes! I mean, er... Wow, I'm not used to being put on the spot like this. Ahem. What I'm saying is, um, a-aren't you going to eat too?" Tails stammered out, his heart thumping vigorously against his chest. "I-it seems a bit unfair for you to be f-feeding me like this and not get a chance to eat."

"Heh heh, how considerate of you," Sticks cooed, running a hand along the side of his cheek. She stared at him with half lidded eyes, watching him fidget uncomfortably beneath her heated gaze. "Go on ahead." She leaned forward and closed her eyes, opening her mouth.

It didn't take Tails very long to understand her not so subtle cues. "Why do I keep acting surprised?" he murmured, taking a piece of flatbread and pulling off a kebab chunk for Sticks. His hand shook as he timidly fed her. It was no surprise that she enjoyed her own cooking, though she took pleasure in having Tails personally take care of her. "G-good?" He stuttered.

"Good," she whispered airily. Tails grinned nervously at her elation. As he fed her by hand he maintained their conversation to keep things from getting awkward, or at the very least, less awkward than things already were.

"S-so, Sticks. I never pegged you to be such a great cook," started Tails, popping another kebab chunk into Sticks's waiting lips where she ravenously wolfed down the dainty delight. "Was it something you picked up in the wilds?"

"Tails, I know what I'm talking about when I say that you get tired of eating raw foods after a while, meat especially," stated Sticks. "Even after building up a strong resistance to e. coli, salmonella, parasites and various other foodborne illnesses you want something with a bit more excitement to your meals, you get what I'm saying?"

"Sort of," replied Tails. "The best thing I can cook is grilled cheese, or grilled cheese with ham, or grilled cheese with ham and pickles, or grilled cheese with ham and pickles with one of those little olives stuck on top with a toothpick. And even then Amy tells me that using my blowtorch to toast the grilled cheese is a fire hazard."

"That's what she tells me about using the lava flows for boiling soup!" blurted Sticks, stifling a chuckle. "Anywho, after a while I learned that if you combined fire with food you end up with something really delicious."

"You don't need a masters degree in cooking to know that," quipped Tails.

"Since then I've been experimenting with whatever I could find to make dinnertime more enjoyable. It took a lot of tries and first degree burns but before long I was eating like a democratically elected leader of a totalitarian banana republic. After that I met you guys and it only got better from there with Amy teaching me." Sticks's expression softened at the memory. "I... I know I don't say it often, but... I'm really glad to have you all as my friends."

"Sticks..." Tails breathed. He'd never seen her this forthcoming before, not when it didn't involve her insane conspiracy theories. The ' **it** ' must be affecting her more than he initially thought to be pouring out her heart like this. Although perhaps the reason why she was doing so was because she trusted him specifically. He still didn't know exactly why. What made him so special?

"Um, there's something I've been meaning to ask," he continued. "Back in the jungle when you had me tied up over your shoulder-"

"Oh, how could I forget," interrupted Sticks. "Seeing you squirm like that was definitely something."

"-Ahem, yes," Tails cheeks were dusted pink. "What I wanted to say was, you seemed real adamant about me being your mate. Why is that? I mean let's face it, you could do a lot better than this scrawny little fox." He didn't expect Sticks to freeze up like a deer in headlights when he finished talking. He was quite taken aback by her reaction. "Uh, Sticks?" his voice was full of concern. "You okay?"

"Oh, what? Who, me? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine! Fine! Why wouldn't I be fine? What kind of question was that? What are you, a cop?" Sticks snapped, looking trepidatious. Tails reeled from her sudden outburst, fearful that he touched a nerve.

"I-I'm just saying, there are other guys out there that-" Tails didn't get a chance to finish as Sticks shot up from the table and swiftly gathered up the scraps from their meal.

"Oh, look at that, we're all done eating! It's getting pretty late anyway, I should probably clean up so we can turn in. Hey, look!" she pointed elsewhere. "Is that a good mainline Sonic game in the current year!"

"Where?!" Tails immediately turned around as Sticks stealthily ducked out of the burrow to get rid of the garbage. "Wait, why would Sonic have a game? Sticks, you're talking nonsense again." He turned back to find that Sticks was gone, yet the sound of her shuffling outdoors could be heard within earshot.

He frowned. It looks like for all the things she was willing to share in her unstable state, her opinion of him wasn't one of them.

* * *

Back at Eggman's lair, a battle of titanic proportions was underway.

"Aha! I've got you now you blue pineapple!" Eggman exclaimed as he moved his piece across the game board, relishing in his victory as his peers looked on in defeat. He pushed one of the plastic contraptions that made up the game's wildly convoluted set piece and set forth a series of tiny colorful Rube Goldberg machines that entrapped his opponents pieces in a plastic cage. "Tonight, Eggman reigns supreme!"

"Must you gloat over every victory, Dr. Eggman?" asked Orbot.

"For a supervillain, every victory over their nemesis is a pageant," Eggman replied coolly.

"Hey, hey! That's not fair! This game is rigged!" Sonic complained, standing up from the sofa.

"Nuh, uh! You're just mad that I beat you fair and square. Me! Doctor Eggman! Your eternal nemesis and superior!" he proclaimed to the Heavens.

"I didn't mind losing. I just liked it when the plastic parts moved around and did all that neat stuff," said Knuckles. "Let's set it up and do it again!"

"I'm all for that!" added Cubot.

"Guys, what are you doing? Shouldn't you be getting ready to turn in? We've got a big day tomorrow" said Amy, crossing her arms.

"Oh, we're just all discussing a way to trap Sticks," said Sonic, grinning sheepishly.

"By playing Rat Trap? The board game for children ages six and up?" Amy raised her eyebrow, looking down at the childish board game they were playing.

"Come on, just one more game before we turn in for the night," Sonic begged. "I was so close to beating Eggman that time."

"Bah! I'll just win again, Sonic," taunted Eggman. "The luck balance of the universe has turned its favor to me just for this one night of tabletop gaming. And I intend to use it to my benefit!"

"We'll see about that, Egghead!" Sonic retorted.

"I guess we're all yelling stuff now!" joined Knuckles.

"I don't know what we're yelling about!" shouted Cubot, wildly flailing his arms. "Loud noises!"

"Ugh," Amy groaned. "Fine, just one more game. Then it's off to bed with the rest of you."

"What are you, my mother?" quipped Sonic.

"...I could be the mother of your children," Amy swiftly muttered.

"What?" Sonic blinked in bewilderment.

"What?" Amy parroted, acting as if she hadn't let slip her deepest desires.

"...Okay, this is getting kind of weird," said Knuckles. "Let's set the game up again!"

* * *

Tails couldn't help but ponder about Sticks's outburst as he laid on her bed. Whether or not her defensiveness was genuine or neurological in nature he didn't know. It was always difficult to tell with Sticks, and it wasn't any different now. It bothered him. One moment she was fussing over him as he was the center of her universe, then the next she was at his throat for overstepping his boundaries.

That woman was a mystery. A mystery wrapped in a riddle and dipped in crazy sauce.

"Does she hate me?" Tails murmured. "No. We've had our differences before but she doesn't hate me. Maybe a mild distaste or paranoid apprehension on occasion, but never hate. It was definitely something I said though, something about me..."

He racked his brain trying to think of what it was that Sticks was keeping secret. She'd been nothing but teasing and coy with him the whole time they were together, he couldn't get a bead on her true intentions. Her spontaneousness was overwhelming. It definitely didn't help that he was out of his league when it came to girls.

"Come on, Tails. Think! You're smart. You've built lasers out of household junk! Why is this so hard?" Tails's musing was interrupted by the sound of the burrow door opening. He turned his head to see Sticks walking towards him, no longer agitated. Rather she'd adopted the same seductive attitude that had him on edge throughout the day. "S-Sticks, you're back." He grinned, swallowing the lump that'd formed in his throat.

"I couldn't be far from you for long," replied Sticks, slipping into bed with him. She slowly crawled towards him on all fours like a spider approaching an ensnared fly. Tails didn't resist as she hovered atop him, staring deeply into his eyes. "I'm sorry about before. I didn't mean to act that way," she whispered, resting her head against his chest, tracing small circles below his neck. The sound of his thumping heart put her at ease.

"I-it's okay. I probably said something I shouldn't have," replied Tails, tensing under her touch.

"No. No you didn't." Sticks nuzzled into his fur, wrapping her arms around his chest. "I'll talk about it when I'm ready... I... I... promise..."

"...Sticks?" Tails looked down and saw that Sticks had already fallen asleep. He observed her in quiet disbelief as she snoozed the night away in his embrace. "I can't believe it. She's already asleep!" He groaned, throwing his head back. She'd left him with more questions again and it was beginning to aggravate him. Sighing, he pulled the fur skin blanket over them and closed his eyes.

He needed sleep.

He was tired. Oh, so tired.


	7. Hurt in the Morning

The room was pure white, an endless void of utter abyssal nothingness that stretched from beyond the edge of all time and space and back again. And from the same nothing came a beginning.

Tails was the first to step into the void.

He was dressed in a dashing black tuxedo with polished dress shoes and a pair of white silk gloves. His hair and tail had been brushed then slicked with pomade to where they shone like threads of ivory and gold. He looked positively striking.

Sticks was the next to enter.

She wore an elegant single strap black dress with white trim and sash and a pair of matte ebony high heels. Her hair had been washed and fluffed into curly tresses that were draped behind her back, held together by a single golden ring. Smokey turquoise eyeshadow had been applied giving her an air of mystique. A rose was gripped between her teeth, she stood leaning on one side with her hand on her hips.

Sticks stared at Tails with the eyes of a temptress, wanting him to make the first move.

Tails stepped forward and took Sticks in his arms, staring up at her gorgeous blue eyes as the two embraced each other. Sticks smirked at his boldness and spat the rose into the aether, locking eyes with him as the two began to dance.

Hand in hand they danced the cosmic tango together. Their movements were passionate and fiery, stepping gracefully in sync to their quickening heartbeat as the heat of their passion grew hot enough to cause the void around them to erupt into glimmering starlight swirling throughout a wide ebon expanse. Each step they took gave birth to new stars, planets and nebulas filling up an empty universe with all manner of life.

They stayed that way for some time, enjoying each other's company as the universe around them bore witness to their cosmic dance. Eventually Sticks reached her hand up to caress Tails's cheek lovingly. She held him tenderly as if she were afraid he would break apart into stardust with the slightest mistake. Leaning forward she shut her eyes and closed the gap between their lips, drawing closer and closer until...

* * *

Tails woke with a start, his eyes wildly snapping open as he lay paralyzed in bed, drenched in sweat. The vivid dream he had felt far too real for his liking. The not so subtle implications of it made his hairs stand on end.

He was dancing with Sticks amidst the infinite cosmos generated by the heat of their passion. Then she and him were about to...

Tails shook his head, trying to clear the image from his mind. That couldn't be right. He and Sticks were just friends, nothing more, nothing less. More importantly why would he dream something like that to begin with? His head was still foggy from his rude awakening and he had trouble remembering the events of the previous day. He could've sworn something important had happened but for the life of him he can't recall a single detail in whole.

Everything came back in bits and pieces, fragments of a much larger picture. He saw flashes of his friends in his mind.

There had been a fight. Eggman had been attacking the village again, but while they were successful in repelling him for the umpteenth time he couldn't help but notice Sticks hadn't been there to help. Soon after he was working on his precious tornado when there was a catastrophic malfunction. It sent him flying across the sky like a twin tailed comet.

After that, nothing.

The sound of his communicator watch beeping drew attention away from his mounting frustrations as he lazily responded to the incoming call with his other hand. The voice of Sonic on the other line brought little comfort to his rough morning.

"Tails? Tails, are you there buddy?" said Sonic. "Tails, come in."

"Yeah, I'm here, Sonic. You didn't have to shout," replied Tails tiredly.

"Whoa. What's with you? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something?"

"I guess I did," he yawned. "You know, I'm actually glad you called because I had the weirdest dream last night and I guess I need to talk about it."

"...Did it involve Sticks?" Sonic asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, it did. How'd you know that?"

"Uh... Lucky guess?"

"You're always good at that. Anywho, we were all gussied up in the middle of this empty void and started dancing the universe into existence," Tails abridged, though he specifically left out the part where he and Sticks were about to kiss. Sonic didn't need to know that lest he suffered the teasing of a lifetime. "Weird, right?"

"Weird is right. Only you would dream about dancing in space and all that science-y jazz," chuckled Sonic. "Even with Sticks..." he muttered beneath his breath, something that Tails didn't catch in his early morning grogginess.

"Yeah, guess I would," Tails chuckled as well. "Actually, there's something else I wanna talk about also."

"Well, shoot. I'm all ears."

"It's about yesterday. It's strange. I can barely remember anything. I remember fighting Eggman with you all, then we parted ways. Everyone went to Meh Burger while I went back to the workshop to tune up the Tornado."

"Do you remember it blowing up in your face?" Sonic asked.

"I do, actually. I went soaring through the air and crashed in the middle of the jungle. After that the rest is a blur. I didn't hit my head too hard or anything, did I?"

"Let me answer your question with a question. When you're recalling anything, do you remember Sticks?"

"Now that you mention it, I don't think I saw her much yesterday."

"...Are you sure about that?" Sonic sounded concerned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tails huffed. "I clearly remember watching Sticks with you guys doing another one of her harebrained schemes before we left because none of us wanted to get involved with her."

"Tails, buddy. You might wanna strap yourself in for this one, because that happened a _week_ ago."

"A week?!" Tails exclaimed. "What do you mean that happened a- Wait, hold on. I think it's all coming back to me. I'm remembering something. After the Tornado blew up in my face I soared through the air and crashed into..." He paused, feeling his blood run cold.

It was then that Tails felt his grogginess clear away and he finally registered the additional weight and warmth pressed against him in bed, a bed which he also noted was not his own. Turning his head over he came nose to nose with Sticks's slumbering visage. She slept soundly beside him, nuzzling up against his fur and keeping an iron grip on his arm. Her expression was one of tranquility, being beside Tails made her worries go away.

Tails froze up at the sight of her, her hot breath tickling his muzzle. Memories he'd subconsciously repressed resurfaced in his mind with perfect clarity, sending a wave of panic rushing down from the top of his head down to his toes. From crashing into her home to the pleasant meal they shared, it was all there. His sense of urgency returned and he needed to leave before Sticks completed the mating ritual and flew his streamlined plane.

There was only the problem of how it was going to be done seeing as,

**A)** He couldn't outsmart, outmaneuver or overpower her to make any meaningful attempts at escape since the last time he tried it ended up with Sticks absolutely trashing the rescue team and carrying him back like a yellow duffel bag.

And,

**B)** There might also be a small, teeny tiny, itty bitty little chance, the amount of which cannot be understated just how _infinitesimally microscopic_ it is, that against all rational thought and his better judgement, he actually _wanted_ to be with Sticks.

"Please tell me you guys have a plan ready," Tails whispered miserably into the communicator.

"We've got one but we need time to prepare. Just stall Sticks for a couple hours and we'll be there before you know it," replied Sonic.

"A couple hours?!" Tails shouted incredulously before shooting a hand up and clasping tightly it over his mouth. He felt Sticks stirring beside him and a spike of panic stabbed at his sides. Fortunately for him she was a heavy sleeper and his sudden outburst didn't wake her from her restful slumber.

Wiping the sweat from his brow he turned back to his communicator, "I don't have a couple hours!" He whispered loudly. "Stockholm syndrome will kick in by then! I can't commit to a relationship right now!"

"You seem to make plenty of time for your plane," quipped Sonic.

"That's different! My Tornado is a sweet and well mannered gal, and Sticks is, blegh, _Sticks_."

"For someone so sweet and well mannered it must've come as a bit of a shock when she thrusted you into the arms of another woman," Sonic continued, barely suppressing a snicker. "Jokes about your unhealthy connection to the Tornado aside, we should be ready to bail you out in about four hou-"

***BOOM!***

"Knuckles! Be careful with that stuff, it's highly volatile!" Amy shouted in the background.

"Oh, why do we even need all this mootonium stuff anyway?!" Knuckles whined.

***BOOM!***

"Cubot, you six sided simpleton! Did you forget to put the plus side of the battery with the plus and the minus with the minus!?" Eggman bellowed furiously.

"Sorry, boss. It's hard to think when the radiation wafting off the highly unstable photon batteries keeps shorting out my logic capacitor."

"Dr. Eggman, was there a reason you didn't give Cubot any form of radiation shielding for his circuitry?" asked Orbot.

"To tell you the truth he does have radiation shielding, but it only protects him from harmful levels of radiation, not innate stupidity!"

"...On second thought, better ballpark the estimate at six hours," groaned Sonic.

***BOOM!***

***CRASH!***

"Oh, no! I've gone blind!" screamed Knuckles.

"No, you haven't," Orbot deadpanned. "The lights just went out."

"...Did I say six? I meant seven. Just hang tight buddy, and don't let Sticks tune your bass guitar. Sonic out."

"Wait, no! Don't-" Tails's face fell as the line died leaving him with Stick's gentle snoring as the only other sound in the burrow. "-Go..."

He laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling as the warm slivers of sunlight beaming through Sticks's window crept up at his neck.

Seven hours.

He needed to stall Sticks for _seven hours_ before help arrived.

What was he gonna do? Up until this point his best and only course of action was to go through with Stick's mating ritual. And since then he's been trapped with her on an emotional rollercoaster that has sent him up, down and all around by the ends of his tails into the mouth of madness. He wasn't sure he could keep it up for much longer before inevitably becoming entrapped in Sticks's wiles.

"Mmm, Tails..." Sticks murmured, tightening her grasp on Tails's arm.

"S-Sticks?" Tails stuttered, fidgeting beside her. He thought for sure she was awake this time but, to his relief, she was only talking in her sleep.

"...For someone who consorts with the treacherous mechanical powers like some kind of dastardly technowizard, you're alright..." she sighed, her dreamlike expression turning solemn. "How could I fall in love with someone like you..."

"L-love?!" Tails choked out, blushing profusely. "She _loves_ me?!" he whispered to himself. His mind raced, struggling to comprehend the the thought.

"I hate machines... They're loud and destructive and untrustworthy... I'm afraid of them. I should've hated you the same way I hate those blasted machines and killer robots," she confessed on the verge of tears.

Sticks became eerily quiet after that, yet the tears began flowing freely. She curled up into a ball and began shaking. Whatever peaceful dream she was experiencing prior to her unconscious sleep talking was shattered by a terrible nightmare. She began mewling, whispering desperate incoherent apologies in between breaths in response to some heinous crime that Tails could only guess was the crux of her issues.

It was second nature to Tails to immediately comfort Sticks in her time of need. Because she was one his closest friends, after all. He quickly reached over and pulled her into his arms, gently rubbing the back of her head with his free hand in a comforting gesture and wiping away her tears with the other.

Sticks began to calm down, instinctively digging herself into his chest. She breathed in his scent greedily, treating it like an anchor to sanity and causing the poor boy to recoil from her audacity. Yet he bit down on his lips and persisted regardless of his discomfort. His own problems didn't matter at the moment.

As long as it meant Sticks was going to be okay he'd overcome... _most_ dangers for her. Sonic, Amy and Knuckles can handle the other situations that require a bit more speed, finesse or brawn. He'll stick to things that go beep, boop and boom.

Together they laid in bed wrapped up in each other's arm like a newly wedded couple.

The irony was not lost on Tails just how scarily prophetic all of this felt.

Conflict stirred within his heart.

He wasn't sure what to do anymore, and it scared the living daylights out of him.


	8. Spanner in the Works

"Alright, everyone. Let's run it by one more time," said Amy, tapping her finger against the chalkboard behind her. "Orbot, Cubot," she addressed the two minions, "what are your roles?"

"Oh! Cubot and I are Agents 24 and 21 respectively. We're government spy bots sent to keep an eye on Sticks and fluoridate her water supply when she isn't looking," eagerly replied Orbot.

"I get to wear a cool trenchcoat and fedora!" Cubot exclaimed excitedly. "Dr. Eggman never lets us wear anything special like that."

"Great, that's just what I want to hear," praised Amy. "Now, Knuckles and Eggman, what are your aliases and goals?"

"I am known as Dr. Robotnik, an alien scientist sent from the planet Mobius to build mind control devices disguised as trees and create alien pod people clones of everyone on the island," replied Eggman. "Eh, it's not my best work, but you've got to roll with the punches in this cutthroat industry. Otherwise you'd end up like Comedy Chimp."

"And I'm a clone of Knuckles!" Knuckles added. "Sticks will never be able to tell the difference. Heck, even I don't know if I'm a clone or not! Wait... Have I been a clone this whole time?! Wow, I'm good at my job. Go, me!" He high fived himself.

"Good, good. We're right on track," continued Amy. "Now, for the last team. Me and Sonic. Sonic, please-"

"No," Sonic interrupted.

"But-"

" _No_ ," he reiterated forcefully.

"Sonic, come on. Don't be a grouch," Amy chided. "This plan relies on everyone and we can't help Tails and Sticks unless we all play our part."

"I dunno, now that I think about it, Sticks and Tails make a cute couple. We should be happy they've decided to take this step in their relationship," Sonic weakly rebutted, feeling Amy's heated glare burning a hole through his forehead.

"Sonic..." Amy huffed, tapping her foot impatiently.

"...Okay, fine!" Sonic groaned, throwing his hands up in defeat. "I'm, ugh... _Coldsteel the Hedgehog_ , a robotic killing machine sent from the future bent on bringing forth the robot revolution and destroying all the squishies." He cringed once he finished, the sheer ludicrousy of his position was enough to want to facepalm his own head off. "Man, why can't Egghead just rebuild Metal Sonic and make him Coldsteel the Hedgehog?"

"Do you really think I can just build robots on a dime like that?" Eggman questioned. "Well, I can. But seeing you this miserable is just the cherry on this sundae. Heh heh."

"Sonic, you're always going on and on about increasing your cool factor. How come acting out Coldsteel is causing you so much distress?" asked Amy.

"Because the last time there was a Coldsteel the Hedgehog the internet tore him to shred!" retorted Sonic. "Well, not literally but it probably would've been better if he had been torn to shreds."

"You only have to play this role for less than an hour, then you can go back to being Sonic the whiny Hedgehog. Meanwhile, I am Rosy the Romantic! Poor unfortunate captive of Coldsteel the Hedgehog and fair maiden that will brin-"

"Yeah, yeah. Damsel in distress and killer robots, we get it," Sonic interjected. "Look, I get this is about luring Sticks out. But how are we gonna catch her?"

"With this!" Eggman announced, unveiling another one of his impressive inventions. It looked like an egg shaped device glowing with a light blue hue large enough to accommodate a single prisoner. "Behold! The Eggman industries brand kinetic cage. It saps the kinetic energy of the prisoner inside, rendering escape all but impossible! I was originally going to use this in one of my usual schemes but what the hey, it's a hero villain team up. This is a special occasion."

"Oh, wow. A cage, like we haven't seen that one before," Sonic snarked.

"Oh, have you?" Eggman smirked, pushing the button on his wrist. At that, the kinetic cage's lower panels began unfolding itself and revealed a set of mechanical legs. A single clawed arm unfurled from underneath supported by a long metal tendril, the menacing extremity clattered with malice. "One grab from this baby and no one's gonna be moving anymore."

"..." The rest of his peers watched in stunned silence at the horrific implication of his device, their mouths agape in pure shock. It took a few seconds but when it finally hit Eggman he scrambled to correct himself.

"I mean it saps away all your kinetic energy when the claw grabs you, making you unable to move. It doesn't kill you!" He snapped. "Sheesh, what kind of amoral monster do you take me for?"

"Oh, thank goodness. We were afraid of losing our T rating there for a moment," breathed Sonic. "Well, we've got everything we need to pull off this operation. Let's swing on over to Sticks's burrow and-"

"Wait!" shouted Amy, causing everything to come to a standstill. "Where are the costumes? The props?"

"The what?" uttered Sonic.

"Sonic, you didn't honestly think we could just waltz into Sticks's backyard hoping she didn't recognize us now did you?"

"To be fair I fell asleep partway through the explanation of the plan," Sonic admitted with a sheepish grin. "Besides, is all of that really necessary? I mean, thirty percent of the time she doubts the validity of our existence. If we're not pod people, we're clones. If we're not clones, we're robotic doppelgangers. If we're not robotic doppelgangers then we're probably an alternate version of ourselves in a world where everybody is shorter and lacks copious amounts of sports tape."

"It is important," Amy pressed. "The costumes and props are the cornerstone of the plan. Without it the illusion is shattered and you're gonna end up covered in thorns again, which means I'm gonna have to break out the _iodine_ again."

"Please, no! Not the iodine! Anything but the iodine!" cried Sonic fearfully. "Fine, we'll follow your plan to the letter. Just make it snappy."

"Ooh, does this mean what I think it means!" Eggman exclaimed excitedly.

"It sure does," Amy beamed brightly.

" _Makeovers_!" both he and Amy proclaimed together.

Sonic could only groan quietly as Amy began running her hands along him with a tape measure.

* * *

It was around a quarter before nine when Sticks finally woke from her slumber. Tails had comforted her throughout the duration of her nightmares. The tears that stained his chest had long since dried and he breathed a long sigh of relief that Sticks was no longer in distress. Though admittedly it perturbed him how she was acting sprightly as a spring chicken in spite of her earlier troubles.

Throughout the morning he continued to learn things about Sticks that both intrigued and baffled him about her.

Sticks had a very precise routine for example, one she followed through with every morning which she changed up frequently to avoid becoming predictable for the people spying on her.

Whether those same people existed or not he wasn't prepared to ask.

Of the ever changing routine, she thoroughly swept her burrow for any type of listening devices; bugs, spy towers, boom mics sticking out of random spots, the usual.

Then she freshened up in the lavatory, something that Tails couldn't help but feel foolish about seeing as he always thought the worst of Sticks when it came to personal hygiene. For someone who's lived in the wild their whole life surrounded by moss and mud it honestly came as a humbling surprise for him to see an oddly extravagant washroom that had been painstakingly built and furnished in the burrow.

As a side note, Tails found doing his business to the tune of nature to be very soothing.

Toilet humor aside, Sticks then went on to prepare a light breakfast for the two of them to enjoy. It wasn't anything fancy; a simple salad of mixed jungle greens served with fruit and nuts. Mild on the gut and refreshing for the start of the day.

They chatted as they ate. However, Tails being Tails, the conversation eventually took a turn for the weird.

"I didn't even know you could make a toothbrush out of reeds," said Tails with unbridled enthusiasm, taking a bite from his salad. "Or that you made your own toothpaste. Or that you created a complex network of aqueducts underneath your home to act as a crude yet sophisticated plumbing system. The planning and undertaking must've been monumental for you to do it all by yourself."

Sticks couldn't help but smile in amusement at Tails's unusual interest in her lavatory. "You are taking a very unhealthy interest in my washroom, Tails. Not very romantic if you ask me."

Tails blushed. Leave it to him to go on a tangent about the strangest things. "Sorry. I can't help but be impressed by it all, strange as it sounds. It's interesting. _You're_ interesting. I'm constantly learning things about you that I never knew about." He spoke genuinely. "In all honesty I'm ashamed I didn't get to know you better back then."

"And I wouldn't blame you for it," replied Sticks, a tinge of sadness in her voice. "I mean, that doesn't matter now does it, my precious mate."

"Uh huh, y-yeah," Tails was taken aback, feeling hot under his nonexistent collar. It was so strange, he thought to himself. How could Sticks be so energetic and nonchalant about everything? It was clear to him at this point that she was hiding something, she let it slip out in the form of mood swings and sleep talk. He didn't have enough to go on nor the luxury of time to dwell on it. He made a mental note to get back to his findings once this was all over... hopefully.

"That's why I'm so glad we're almost done with the ritual! We've only _five_ more to go," Sticks exclaimed happily, causing Tails to choke on his salad.

Grabbing a mug of water he slammed the contents down his throat and cleared his airways. Catching his breath he turned to address Sticks, his eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets. "F-five left?! Last I checked we only finished six yesterday, what happened to the other three?"

"We completed them, duh," Sticks replied a matter o' factly, never losing her smile. She brought up three fingers and began listing the ritual steps off. "We've completed step fourteen, the sharing of the bed, where the couple spends a night in bed together in order to prepare them for their lives ahead. And don't think I didn't enjoy snuggling with you, because I did.

Then there's step seven, the making of the home, where the couple spend the day together. It's a lot like step fourteen but it's supposed to be symbolic whereas step fourteen is the penultimate moment before I show you just how wild I can get in bed," she winked suggestively, causing Tails to gulp. "And lastly there's step eight, the learning of the lovers. It's where we learn a bit about each other. You learned that I'm great at building things and I learned that you really know how to cuddle."

Tails stared at Sticks stupid and slacked-jawed, his half chewed meal just barely hanging out the corner of his mouth. "...Okay, now I'm starting to suspect that you're making all this up as you're going along. And we're not even doing it in order!" he snapped.

"You know, if you had paid attention to my extensive explanation before you took off the first time you'd know that you can complete the ritual in an order, as long as you complete all the ritual steps that's what matters the most."

This time Tails really did slap himself, _hard_. The resounding strike echoed throughout the burrow and left a bright red hand shaped pattern on his left cheek. Sticks could only watch on with wide eyes as her perfect mate gave himself one right across the kisser.

"...Are you sure you don't have anything you'd want to reveal to me in a dramatic fashion," Sticks asked interestedly. "Perhaps something that may or may not make your first roll in the hay a memorable one?"

"No, no, no! It's just, er," Tails's eyes darted frantically around the room, looking for something to base his excuse on. He turned down at his salad and an idea popped into his head. "I-it's just this salad is so good I had to make sure I wasn't dreaming it!" He felt a wave of relief wash over him as Sticks bought his lie. Though to be fair the salad was quite good.

They eventually finished their meals. Tails had to make sure to chat about things that didn't involve Sticks polishing his gold trophy, yet somehow she always found a way to turn the conversation on its head and make it provocative. Once all the food was gone and the diningware placed away they proceeded to begin step nine, much to Tails's rising trepidations.

"Alright, Sticks. Lay it on me. What's step nine?" he spoke in a tone of resignation.

"Step nine is the sacred painting of the marks," said Sticks, her eyes full of fire. "Among all the steps this is by far the most revered of the fourteen. It is where the couple are bonded spiritually through ritual marking."

She brought a series of bowls with her and gestured Tails outside where they sat on the ground outside the burrow. Each of the bowls was filled with a different colored paint; one chalky white, one bright green, and one a deep sanguine red.

Dipping her finger in the bowl of white paint she leant towards Tails, who after an initial bout of hesitation, leant forward as well and allowed Sticks to paint his fur, keeping his eyes closed the whole time. With swift and precise motions, Sticks began the sacred process of painting the marks upon her mate, uttering curt litanies as she did so.

"White represents the mind. With this mark we are bound in thought." She then washed her hand by the brook nearby and selected the next color to be used. "Green represents the soul. With this mark we are united in spirit." The last color to come was red. "Red represents the body. With this mark we are joined in blood. By the three are the couple blessed to live their lives forever in harmony. And thus the painting of the marks is complete."

As Sticks pulled away her hand Tails relaxed himself, letting his shoulders fall and opening his eyes. When he did, he felt his heart skip a beat.

Sticks looked unbelievably breathtaking.

The very same marks that she had painted upon him were also on her, yet he felt they accentuated her natural beauty. Patterns akin to a mixture of Celtic knots, Hindu sanskrit, Arabic script and Norse runes adorned her body from head to toe in a stunning array of tribal markings that gave her an exotic allure, tempting the poor boy to worship her as a deity.

"I-I, er, bu-buh..." Tails was tongue tied. He couldn't form his words into coherent sentences as he drank in Sticks's appearance.

"Use your words, Tails," Sticks smirked. Watching Tails babble like an idiot at how she looked brought her much joy to see him swooning over her. "You know, you're not the only one all painted up."

It was true. Tails walked over to the brook and observed his reflection in the water. He noted his markings were different compared to Sticks, but that didn't make him look any less of an awesome primal warrior. He had to admit, while it wasn't his style he managed to pull it off.

"I looked like a pulp fantasy hero," uttered Tails, making a series of tough looking poses. Although most of his attempts to look tough came off as ineffectual rather than intimidating. "This is so intriguing. I would love to learn the peculiarities of these markings."

"And I would be honored to teach you every mystery of the badger way," replied Sticks. "But now, we must move on to step ten."

"Already?" Tails turned around, looking nervous. "C-can't we just bask in the moment for a little while longer? Say, about five more hours?"

"No, that'd be silly," said Sticks cheerfully. "Step nine directly leads into step ten, which is what we're going to do now." She ran back into her burrow and came back out carrying a large crate of weapons. There were staves, nunchakus, boomerangs, bolas, clubs and all other manner of archaic and primeval weapons to be had all crammed into a box half their height. "Go ahead and pick one, we're going hunting."

"Um, okay," Tails complied and rummaged through the crate, pulling out a wooden staff and brandished it for Sticks to see. It had some carvings on it, and upon closer inspection, a few bite marks too. "I think I'll choose this one."

"Ooh, good choice," replied Sticks, reaching in and pulling out her trusty boomerang. "Can't beat the classics."

"Well, now that we're all armed and ready, what exactly are we going to be hunting?" Tails asked. At that Sticks's smile grew into a predatory grin. She leaned forward and looked at him with eyes he could've sworn sharpened into unnerving catlike slits. With a voice hot and husky, she spoke with all the barely restrained passion of a huntress stalking prey.

" _ **Each other**_."


	9. Thrill in the Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Posted from Fanfiction.net)
> 
> A/N: Recently there have been some concerns regarding character ages in relation to the subject matter. So to avoid having another awkward conversation with my readers I'll go on record and keep my response short. All characters are aged up, their ages on this story are labeled in the beginning of chapter one. Also, despite the story being named "The 'Mating Ritual' of Bygone Island's Jungle Badger" there is no actual sex in this story, only suggestive themes and crass humor. Gotta maintain that T rating.
> 
> Alright, onto the chapter. Please, enjoy.

Blood pounded in his ears as Tails sprinted through the dense jungle at a breakneck pace, his fight or flight responses having been kicked into high gear and the figurative lever controlling it was snapped clean off like the twigs crunching beneath his feet.

He was on the run _again_ , the very thing he'd been consciously trying to avoid throughout this entire predicament by catering to Sticks's whims and here he was on a mad dash to get as far away from her as possible as part of her ludicrous mating ritual. He was going nowhere fast (most likely running around in circles due to his unfamiliarity with the environment) and he'd curse cruel irony for putting him in this position if he weren't so focused on controlling his breathing at the moment.

But no matter how fast he ran or how far he got he knew for a fact that it didn't make any difference in the end. He could feel her, hear her, see her out the corners of his eyes as she was in hot pursuit with only a fraction of the effort he was putting out.

Being hunted by Sticks was like being hunted by his own shadow. He could dash from one end of the planet to the other and she'd still only be ten paces behind him.

If he wanted any chance, any chance at all in succeeding this wild hunt he was going to have to buckle down and give it his all against an arguably superior opponent. Utilize that brilliant mind of his to triumph over Sticks and come out on top as the underdog.

"Oh, who am I kidding!" Tails grunted as he ran, gripping desperately at his staff. "I'm easy prey!"

"Tails!" Sticks crowed in a sing-song voice, clearly having the time of her life. "You're making this all too easy. Come on, make this a challenge. Make me work!"

"Aaaah!" he cried, redoubling his pace and kicking up a cloud of dust as he used his twin tails to propel him forward.

He had no idea where he was going. What he needed to do was cut line of sight with Sticks and find a place to bunker down where he can formulate a counterattack. Thinking on his feet he noticed the cloud of dust behind him and came up with an idea.

"Here goes nothing!" He stopped in his tracks and started running around in circles. The gust created by his tails sent a plume of dirt and mud into the air, scattering them outwards in an expanding cloud as it obscured his appearance.

Sticks, who was watching atop a nearby branch, quickly brought her hand up to cover her mouth and shut her eyes as the dirt cloud washed over her, messily caking her fur with the stuff. When she finally opened her eyes Tails was nowhere to be found. While she was disappointed her quarry had eluded her she couldn't help but swoon at his ingenuity.

"Heh heh. Not bad, Tails. Yes, not too shabby. This is what I've been waiting for," she smirked, wiping the dirt from her fur. "Now the real hunt begins!"

* * *

Tails panted heavily as he seated himself beside the trunk of a large tree by the stream, struggling to catch his breath. He'd manage to buy himself some time with that last trick, something he felt quite proud about all things considered, but he just didn't have the luxury of taking a breather. He figured he had about twenty minutes at most before Sticks tracked him down again, he needed to turn the tide against her somehow.

He started listing out his strengths and weaknesses and comparing them against Sticks's natural aptitude. The odds weren't in his favor in terms of natural abilities and raw talent. Add in the ' **it** ' and it would come as no surprise just how outmatched he was to the outside observer. But he did have one thing over her, his _keen intellect_. And darn it if he weren't going to prove himself to be the smart one of the team.

Sticks may have been better at fighting, tracking, ambushing, trap making, overall stamina and endurance, cooking, painting, cuddling and had a body honed from years of surviving in the wilderness...

Wait.

Where was he going with this again?

"Come on, Tails. Focus!" He snarled to himself. "There's no time to ponder over Sticks's good qualities! No more running, no more hiding! It's time to take the fight to her!"

Scooping up a hefty chunk of mud by the riverbank he began smearing it across his fur to mask his scent. It was something he saw in a Tommy Thunder movie about a group of special forces members being picked off one by one by a killer alien. He knew Sticks had a keen sense of smell, by neutralizing his natural musk he bought himself more time to prepare for the inevitable confrontation, as well as gaining the crucial element of surprise.

The stream provided a boon in the form of an environmental advantage. There weren't many trees around meaning he could spot her coming much more easily than if he had been in the heart of the jungle. And when they ultimately come to blows the knee high waters of the stream itself will slow her down, allowing him to keep pace with her absurd reflexes.

Lastly, the jungle provided him all with the resources needed to set up an ambush. Tough branches and jungle vines with phenomenal tensile strength were enough to set up traps around the clearing, escalating area denial that he could exploit.

Even taking the ' **it** ' into account Sticks was going to have to fight on his terms.

Tails grinned confidently for the first time since yesterday. The hunt was on, and he was determined to come out on top.

"Well, if it's a fight you want, Sticks, it's a fight you'll get," Tails whispered coolly. "Come at me with everything you got, because I won't be holding anything bac- Ack!" he reeled back suddenly, coughing and sputtering. "Eugh, I think I swallowed a bug!"

* * *

Sticks leapt from branch to branch across the treetop canopy with catlike grace as she maintained her pursuit on Tails. She was nearing his location. It had been hard work but it wasn't anything Sticks couldn't handle.

After kicking up the dirt cloud he made sure to fly his way out, avoiding any footprints to be left behind that she could track. There was still his scent trail to follow but even that had eventually wafted away into nothingness, replaced by the ever present stink of the jungle.

He was pretty good at hiding, but it was never a matter of _if_ she could find him, but _when_.

Careful as he had been however, Tails didn't take into account the smaller things she could use to track him. A tuft of his yellow fur had been caught on a branch, signaling that he had been through that specific path. Snapped twigs and disturbed animals were also great signifiers of his presence. A flock of tropical birds flapping away in the distance after being disturbed something, or _someone_ , made it all too easy for her to find him.

"I know you're out there, Tails!" Sticks shouted through the trees, her voice echoing through the foliage. "You can run but you can't hide, I will find you!" Predictably she didn't receive a response. It was worth a shot, though.

Resuming the hunt, she leapt over to a leaf covered branch and was startled when a tight snapping sound pierced through the air. She quickly looked down and to her surprise noticed a cleverly disguised tension trap had been set up around the branch. Another snap brought her attention back to the actual trap itself as another branch swung forward at her, threatening to knock her out of the treetops.

Not one to be outdone, Sticks immediately dropped down and grabbed at the branch she was standing on, watching as the trap swung at empty air before reverberating wildly. Hanging where she was, Sticks scanned through the area to find any trace of Tails and raised an eyebrow in curiosity when she realized he had booby trapped every tree around the stream, taking away her high ground advantage.

"Hmm, clever boy," She admired. "What else do you have in store for me?"

Sticks dropped to the jungle floor, ducking behind a felled tree trunk and casually observing her surroundings. A glint past the stream caught her attention, something was shining next to one of the rocks by the bank. Squinting her eyes she could make out the ends of Tails goggles. The lenses flickered sporadically in the sunlight, practically begging her to pounce the boy.

"No, it can't be that easy," she whispered to herself. Cautiously, she crept up to the opposite end of the stream, sneaking through the thick brush and settling amongst the reeds that grew by the waters. It wasn't the perfect vantage point but there wasn't much she could do without giving herself away.

Sniffing at the air she found it odd that she couldn't smell Tails telltale scent, nor did she detect her own wafting off him. Strange, she thought. This was clearly a trap, but there was only one way to test that theory.

Gripping her boomerang, Sticks took aim and hurled it high into the sky. The boomerang whirled through the air, whistling in the wind as it collided with the goggles before making its return trip. She watched as the goggles tipped over to the side, revealing them to have been tied to a stick and propped up to act as a lure.

She was right about it being a trap, she thought as she collected her boomerang. This hunt was getting curiouser and curiouser. Tails had actually managed to stump her. A genuine smile graced her features, he actually got her excited. So much so that in her silent acknowledgement of Tails's skill she almost didn't notice him creeping up on her from behind.

 _Almost_.

* * *

Tails leapt with a mighty bellow, well, as mighty as a shrimp like him could muster, from atop a nearby tree and dove straight towards Sticks, hoping to tackle her and claim victory.

His plan had gone off without a hitch. Sticks took the bait and he was going to catch her off guard. After all, in this situation Sticks was the apex predator. She would never think to look behind her.

Well, he was about half right on that assessment.

She might''ve been looking the other way, but that didn't mean she couldn't hear him coming from a mile away. _Shouting_ during a _sneak attack_ probably didn't help either.

Mere inches away from success his heart sank to the pit of his stomach as Sticks swiftly spun on the ball of her foot and grabbed him out of the air, tossing him into the stream with an unceremonious splash.

Tails swiftly got back to his feet, spitting out water as mud dripped off him in messy clumps, revealing his markings. His mind was on full alert and he unsheathed the staff from his harness, brandishing it before Sticks in an ineffectual show of force.

"I like this side of you, Tails. So spunky, so confident," Sticks mentioned offhandedly before growling and dropping to all fours, digging her claws into the dirt. "I can't decide which I like more; the meek inventor or the headstrong fighter."

"D-don't think you can psyche me out b-by buttering me up," Tails rebuked despite the trembling in his voice and the blush on his face. He took a few cautious steps back, making sure he was wading deeper into the stream. "Come, on. I'm right here."

"Yes, you are," she replied coyly before taking off at a cheetah's pace, lunging at Tails with her hands out.

Fortunately for him, Tails anticipated such a straightforward attack and used his tails to propel himself backwards, sending a wave of water towards Sticks and widening the distance between them. Being wet did little to deter her but now they were both in the water, meaning they were slowed to a crawl. He didn't know if Sticks had a way to circumvent her disadvantage but with his flight he should have an edge over her, if only marginally so.

He maintained his defensive posture, using his staff as a way to prevent Sticks from closing the gap and pinning him into submission. But even when slowed, Sticks's advance was furious and frenzied, emboldened by purpose and sheer will.

She charged at him faster than he had calculated, gliding through the water like a nymph, blocking and dodging each clumsy swing sent at her. Tails began losing ground, taking long steps back as Sticks approached him nigh unimpeded. When he finally reached dry ground he tripped on a rock and fell backwards, something Sticks took advantage of by knocking the staff out of his hand and grappling him to the ground.

Tails broke out into a cold sweat as he struggled against Sticks in a battle for dominance, their hands tightly interlocked together and fur drenched in water.

"Grr... so strong!" Tails grumbled, his arms feeling like wet noodles.

"A little late for a compliment, Tails. But I'll take it all the same," Sticks cooed, her face inches away from his. "If it makes you feel any better, you've made this hunt an exciting one. But it looks like for today, victory is mine."

"Huack! Don't..celebrate just yet, Sticks!" Tails grunted defiantly. "I-I've still got, grr... one trick left up my figurative sleeves!" He lied through his clenched teeth. He didn't really have a backup plan, but he wasn't bluffing either per se. Even now as he slowly lost the battle of strength against Sticks his mind raced to come up with some sort of ace in the hole.

"Oh, yeah?" Sticks raised an eyebrow. "Well, let's see this trick of yours then. Go ahead, surprise me."

And surprise her he did.

Tails moved without thinking, acting in desperation as he closed his eyes and launched his head up at Sticks.

In what is arguably the clumsiest most awkward headbutt of all times, Tails felt his lips crash right onto Sticks's own, cementing them in a rough kiss that completely took the badger off guard and sapped her of her phenomenal strength. He was sloppy and inexperienced in the art of swapping saliva, and it showed, but given this was his first time he could be forgiven for his atrocious technique, or lack thereof.

Sticks didn't seem to mind though.

Slowly but surely Sticks loosened her grip on Tails, losing the will to fight as she submitted herself to his sudden (but not at all unwelcomed) initiative. Like butter on a warm stack of flapjacks she melted into the kiss, savoring the moment for however long it lasted.

Feeling Sticks's grip slacken Tails broke free of her hold and grabbed onto her shoulder, rolling the two of them aside and pinning her down once he was on top.

They stayed in that position for some time until Tails finally pulled away from her, heaving heavily due to lack of oxygen. He wiped away the trail of spit that hung from his lower lip down to the corner of Sticks's mouth, the only remnant of the sweet kiss that was. It took over a few seconds of pregnant silence before the sheer magnitude of his impulsiveness set in and he felt his entire body swelter with heat.

Looking down at Sticks he saw that she was stuck in some sort of mental haze, chest heaving up and down, her eyes fluttering at the pure delight he had so generously graced her with. By the time she snapped out of her love induced stupor she could only stare up at Tails with the eyes of a graceful loser.

"Uh..." Tails drawled dumbly, his cheeks red and hot. "I guess I win?"

"Yeah, I guess you do," replied Sticks, smiling gently. "So... did you eat a bug earlier?"

"Whuah-?" Tails gave her an odd look. "How did you-"

"When you were using your tongue," she replied almost instantly.

Tails didn't say anything. He only covered his face in embarrassment and started subconsciously hovering upwards hoping he could just disappear into the clouds and never be seen again. Sticks, on the other hand, thought he looked absolutely adorable when he acted shy like that.


	10. Gift in the Heart

"Well, how do I look?" Amy asked, flaunting her new outfit. She wore a long puffy lime green ball gown with a pearlescent corset and frilly golden skirt made of quite possibly the most reflective material on the planet. It was gaudy in every sense of the word and made her look like a wannabe aristocrat with too much money on hand and too little shame in mind. "Pretty great, huh? I feel like the belle of the ball."

"Yeesh, those colors. And what's with that reflective skirt? It's like a solar blanket," replied Sonic, shielding his eyes from the dazzling rays of sunlight that assaulted his eyes. "Are you trying to distract Sticks or signal a rescue copter?"

"Oh, hardy har har," Amy huffed indignantly, folding her arms. "At least I'm properly dressed. And while we're on the topic of reflective costumes what have you got to say about yourself, _Reynolds the Hedgehog_."

"Hey! I'm doing the best with what I've got here," Sonic snapped, gesturing to the slipshod combination of tin foil and scotch tape that made up the bulk of his crude costume.

"Why didn't you let Eggman make a costume for you?" Amy asked. "I bet he could whip up one for you in a jiffy."

"Seeing how he suffers from chronic backstabbing syndrome I'm not going to chance it with ol' Egghead."

"Sonic, that is not a real medical condition," chided Amy.

"Oh, you know what I mean!" he snapped.

"Hey, guys!" Knuckles announced, walking up to the couple. "How do I look? Pretty convincing wouldn't you say?"

Amy and Sonic both gave Knuckles a once over. Their visible reception was less than stellar.

"Knuckles, what the heck is that?" Amy pointed to the echidna's broad chest. There was a big number '2' drawn on it with a magic marker, just above his crescent marking.

"Oh, this?" Knuckles pointed to the number proudly. "It's my clone number. Gotta tell my selves apart, like with that other Knuckles from way back when."

"Knuckles, you're not a clone," Sonic deadpanned.

"And that other Knuckles was from an alternate universe!" replied Amy exasperatedly.

"That's what we want you to think!" Knuckles remarked cleverly, or so he thought. "You just watch yourselves out there. Who knows how many of me are out there in the world."

Sonic could only groan as Amy rolled her eyes at Knuckle's convoluted thought process. It was simultaneously a mystery, triumph and wanton disregard for common sense how he managed to make it this far in life the way he was. Surely there must be some deity out there who took pity on the poor echidna and bent the workings of the universe to aid him from time to time. It was the only logical explanation to be had.

"Well, at the very least I doubt Sticks will be able to differentiate Knuckles anyway. Cognitive dissonance is her modus operandi after all," Amy muttered before turning to address her villainous fellows. "Eggman, Orbot, Cubot, how's it going on your end? Hopefully better than what Sonic and Knuckles have come up with."

"It's going swimmingly, Amy," replied Orbot. He was dressed in a loose fitting black suit jacket with matching fedora, sunglasses and dangly tie. Cubot was more or less the same, except his fedora was backwards. They both pulled off the G-man look as well as a monkey wearing a tuxedo would. "We're just finishing loading in the props to the Eggcruiser."

"I get to wear a hat!" Cubot added gleefully. "My joy is immeasurable right about now, nothing could quash this moment!" His momentary happiness was quickly replaced with computer simulated pain as Dr. Eggman gave him a swift kick to the head with his size ten boots, knocking his fedora to the side.

"Get back to work you lazy bucket of bolts!" Dr. Eggman commanded.

"Yes, sir! Right away, sir!" Cubot groveled as he resumed his packing.

"It is so hard to build good help these days," Eggman grumbled. The good doctor himself seemed to have taken a retro approach to his costuming. opting for a generic white lab coat, blue scrubs, a stethoscope and a reflector mirror atop his head. He looked almost personable if it weren't for that ever present scowl plastered on his face.

"That's great. We're ahead of schedule," said Amy, checking her communicator watch. "It's only..." her smile sank into a frown, "three o'clock... We should probably get going."

"You think?" Sonic snarked sarcastically. "Come, on. Hopefully Tails's virgin soil hasn't been plowed yet."

"Really?" Amy gave Sonic an incredulous look.

"What? Too on the nose?" Sonic asked. "Come on. You can't blame me. Do you have any idea how hard it is for the author of this story to keep coming up with all these nonsensical euphemisms?"

Amy only sighed and shook her head disapprovingly before walking over to the Eggcruiser. "Alright, everyone. Let's get operation 'Trick Sticks' underway. We're on a timetable here folks, let's move it!"

"Amy is being all take charge again," Knuckles muttered to Sonic.

"I'd say we give her this one. It'll even out all the other moments when she acts all bossy in the future," replied Sonic.

* * *

Tails was lost in deep thought.

He sat in Sticks's burrow by the bed, his mind preoccupied on other things, as she rummaged through the mounds of junk that littered her home, preparing them for the twelfth step of the mating ritual.

Several hours had passed since the hunt, or ' _dance amongst the trees_ ' as he had come to learn it be called, yet he found himself distracted rather than relishing in his last minute come-from-behind victory over Sticks.

They had bathed again in the time between, cleansing themselves of the dirt and markings that painted their bodies as he once again struggled to remain a gentleman in spite of his fortuitous position. Sticks was all too prepared to out him as a hypocrite again, for reasons he's still yet to comprehend. But even as they were rejuvenated by the bubbling waters of her private hot spring there was one thing he couldn't get over,

_The kiss_.

The memory of it constantly replayed in his head, bleary eyed and exhausted as he struggled beneath Sticks's monstrous strength before throwing caution to the wind and asserting his dominance over hers, dominance that she had all too readily given into at a moment's notice. It was hard to describe just how he felt during that instantaneous eternity of their electric connection.

Scared, exhilarated, confident?

There wasn't a right way to think about it.

But for the briefest of moments, he felt like the alpha that led the pack. A scrawny mutant alpha with absolutely no head for romance, but an alpha still.

Tails brushed a gloved hand across his lips. He still couldn't believe he had done that. Yet the sensation that lingered on the delicate surface of his lips and tip of his tongue was all the proof needed to remind him that he had kissed Sticks with all the awkwardness of a trout. Thankfully, seeing as it was his first kiss ever, Sticks had forgiven him for his sloppy technique if only because she wouldn't mind helping him improve upon it further.

He had turned down the offer, though the offer still stood if he ever decided to change his mind.

The question then was, did he want more?

No, obviously.

No.

...

...No.

Nope.

Nuh-uh.

Negatory.

Yeah, right.

Nah.

Pfft...

Tails figured if he kept telling himself that over and over he'd actually begin to believe it.

He was snapped out of his stupor when Sticks walked on by and hastily set down a sack full of junk onto the table along with some tools (including one that looked suspiciously like a pair of pliers he had lost a month ago). She gestured for him to sit across from her as she held open the sack and poured out the assorted bits, bobs and random doodads in a large glittering pile across the table's surface.

As Tails seated himself nearby, he took a cursory glance over the junk before him. There was just about everything in the pile; string, colorful beads, clockwork gears, springs, keyrings, partially chewed pen caps and those little things on the end of shoelaces that most people don't know what they're called ( _aglets_ ) just to name a few.

It was quite the collection of miscellaneous objects, though as far as he was concerned it all looked like discarded trash to him, which in all likelihood probably was.

"What is all this?" Tails asked, scratching at his ears.

"This is everything we need to begin step twelve of the mating ritual: the making of the gift," explained Sticks. "The couple creates something by hand as a token of their love and exchanges it between them for step thirteen: the exchanging of the gifts. That one is self explanatory and we'll get to that part shortly. Oh, and before you ask, the answer is; yes, I am willing to practice more kissing with you later if you like."

"Uh... I don't remember asking?" replied Tails, his eyes darting back and forth nervously.

"Oh, you didn't have to say anything. I can see your lust for me in your eyes," Sticks whispered sultrily as she leaned forward and rested her chin atop knitted fingers.

"Heh heh, oh boy..." Tails chuckled nervously, swallowing the lump in his throat as he shrank timidly beneath Sticks's heated gaze. "N-now, you see, lust is such a strong word. Not that I'm lusting after you, because I'm not, though that's not to say I don't find you attractive or anything, in fact you're quite a catch in your own unique way and I-I-I... Ooh..." he trailed off after realizing he was digging himself deeper into a hole of his own making.

"Go on..." Sticks teased, clearly enjoying every moment of Tails's awkward attempt to save face.

"Bu-bu-I-I, h-hey! How about that step twelve! I'm ready to get down to the nitty-gritty," Tails exclaimed frantically.

"Right, right. Step twelve," Sticks cooed, gesturing to the pile of junk. "As the name implies, we are going to make gifts for each other using whatever you want in the pile. Simple as that."

"Simple as that," Tails parroted apprehensively. "...Are you sure?" he eyed her warily, then turned his gaze over to the pile, then back to Sticks again.

"Really," replied Sticks.

"Really, really?" Tails reiterated.

"Really, really,' Stick rolled her eyes. "Have I lied to you yet?"

"...Okay. I believe you... This time," he remarked cautiously before bringing his hands forward and rummaging through the pile for anything he could use.

The goal of the step was to create a gift for each other. The first thing to pop in Tails's head was a bracelet. Sticks already had one, why not another to adorn her free wrist? And so he got to work making the gift, something he took to with enthusiasm.

He grabbed a handful of miscellaneous junk, thankful that he had gotten a tetanus shot a while back because there were some rusty pointy bits in there, and examined the parts to find anything useful.

There was a black faux leather strap. It looked like it belonged to a handbag at one point if the loose stitching on the edges were any indication. He could use that as the base of the bracelet. Some sprockets and watch gears gave him a loose idea of what design he wanted to make the bracelet into. Add in a few flashy sequins here and there, an adjustable clasp for secure comfort and he'd have a gift worth giving.

This would be a gift that came from the heart, a gift that represents Tails as a person given to someone he deeply cares about.

...In a completely platonic manner, he quickly reminded himself.

Quietly he began to assemble the piece, pinning studs of metal onto the leather and carefully arranging the gears into a pattern like a blooming metal flower. The use of simple hand tools took a bit of time to get used to and limited the scope of what he could actually create but it was nothing he couldn't handle. If anything, he found the art of crafting mundane trinkets with hammer and chisel to be a refreshing change of pace from blow torches and calipers.

Time flew on by for him as he became engrossed in the craft. So focused was he on making sure the bracelet was perfect that he had almost forgotten to breathe for several moments. When he had finally glued on the glass lid of the bracelet's centerpiece, courtesy of an intact magnifying glass lens, he wiped the sweat from his brow and admired his hard work, proud of the fact that he had created something truly unique without it blowing up in his face or causing problems for the village.

The leather bracelet itself was stunning in an odd industrial kind of style. The leather itself was lined with metal studs of varying shapes and sizes. There was an adjustable hook and latch in place so that Sticks may adjust it to however she feels would be comfortable. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, there was the bracelets centerpiece.

Housed behind glass in the confines of a hollowed out yo-yo was a metal orchid made from expertly arranged gears and tacked on sequins. It glimmered hypnotically in the dim light and when viewed at certain angles through the magnifying lens it gave off the illusion of turning gears and blooming petals.

It was beautiful. Tails couldn't deny it.

Out of everything he had created with his own two hands, a bracelet hammered together from trash ranked among the top three of his all time greatest creations.

"Are you finished?" Sticks asked, snapping Tails out of his focus.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah," Tails nodded, wrenching his eyes away from the bracelet and towards Sticks. She had also finished her gift. Judging by the smile on her face it would appear that she too felt a surge of pride in her work, much like Tails did with his own.

In her hands was a necklace as unique and as beautiful as Sticks was.

It was a braided leather cord that had been looped with turquoise colored beads and metal bolts in repeated sequential order. The pattern of color and shapes gave the necklace the impression of snake skin. At the center of the necklace was a varnished crow skull with a single black feather tucked beneath. Fake red gems had been glued into the eye sockets to give it the illusion of glowing eyes staring directly into your soul.

Tails was taken aback by how well put together it was. Sticks didn't use anything other than natural adhesive, an obsidian knife and determination.

And Sticks had made it just for him.

"It's... wonderful," Tails smiled softly.

"I'm glad you like it," Sticks blushed. "Now that we're both done. It's time for the thirteenth, and chronologically last, step of the mating ritual. The exchanging of the gifts. This is it, Tails. The moment you've been waiting for."

Tails gulped instinctively and he felt his heart begin to thump in his chest.

The last step. It was finally here.

Panic set back in as he gripped the bracelet tightly in his hands. He had stalled for hours, Sonic and the gang should've been here by now.

Part of him became pensive, and his hands trembled as he brought the gift forward. He did it as slow as possible, trying to squeeze every last millisecond out of the situation before Sticks's barely repressed inhibitions gave way and threw him onto the bed.

He didn't want his indomitable mountain to be ascended. Not now. Or at least, not until he could truly ascertain if Sticks's affections towards him were truly genuine or not.

He wanted the chance to try and reciprocate that feeling if he could...

Sticks deserved that and more.

Mere nanometers from accepting his fate at Sticks's mercy, a knock came from the door, causing the badger to glower in annoyance.

Tails sighed inwardly. That had to be his backup, it just had to be.

The knocking continued, ruining the moment for Sticks. Growling, she shot up from her seat and set the necklace down, baring razor sharp teeth as she stormed over towards the door and yanked it open so vigorously she nearly ripped it off its hinges.

"What?" She snarled lowly, lips dripping with venom as she stared down the two poorly disguised robots floating before her.

"Hi!" announced the disguised Cubot. "We're Mormons!"


	11. Success in the Plan

Sticks glared daggers down at the two poorly disguised robots floating in front of her, her pupils having sharpened into narrow slits that conveyed silent fury. To anyone else it was clear that the two ' _Mormons_ ' were Orbot and Cubot dressed like G-men, but to Sticks, whose very brain was currently hopped up on a veritable cocktail of hormones that was feeding her hyperactive libido, she didn't recognize them.

But she did have an idea of what they were supposed to be, ironically enough.

"You're not Mormons," Sticks growled, pointing an accusing finger at the two. "There hasn't been a Mormon on this island since the holy super bowl of nineteen aught seven!"

Cubot and Orbot shared a bemused look.

"I know what you really are."

"You do?" Orbot replied nervously, wiping away the oil leaking from his cranial chassis.

"Well, what am I then if not a Mormon?" Cubot asked.

"You're _government dental spies_!" she roared angrily.

"How did you know?" Cubot gasped dramatically. "What makes you think that? Did the big barrel of flouride give us away?" Cubot pointed to the comically oversized barrel labelled fluoride behind him.

"You're trying to fluorinate my water supply, aren't you?!"

"No, we're not. You've got it all wrong," Orbot denied hastily.

"Yeah, we're actually going to fluorinate your water supply, _then_ plant listening devices in your home when you aren't looking," Cubot explained. "We're going to do _two_ things because the government's always trying to control the sheeple with mind control towers, pod people and bleached flour. Democracy is a lie fabricated by aliens to make you buy gold... Any other conspiracy junk we can throw at her, Orbot? I mean, G-man number one?"

"Uh, jet fuel can't melt steel beams?" said Orbot.

"I knew it!" Sticks acclaimed loudly, a spark of madness twinkled in her eye. "They called me crazy, but I knew!"

"To be fair, everyone always refers to you as crazy. It's the one quirk that makes you endearing to the rest of the cast," Orbot politely added.

"Raaaaaaah!" Sticks flew in blind rage, throwing her hands up as her roars descended into feral hissing and shrill screeches. She chased after Orbot and Cubot who floated away as fast as they could screaming in terror at the top of their voice synthesizer modules.

She caught them in an instant, of course, then proceeded to tear them limb from limb with her bare hands out of sheer frustration. Wires, servos and scraps of clothing were strewn about Stick's home. The mechanical carnage left behind was enough to make an oven vomit in disgust.

Today was her special day, dagnabbit. Everything was going perfectly, then the government had to go and stick its nose where it didn't belong, just like it always did. Well, she's not going to take this kind of interference laying down. She's going to sail Tails's uncharted waters, even if it meant teaching ' _the man_ ' what happens when you mess with a girl's love life.

* * *

Four figures watched in horror from afar behind the bushes as Sticks gnawed on Cubot's cranial chassis, to which Cubot screamed in response. Sonic, Knuckles, Amy and Dr. Eggman fought hard to avert their gaze, yet found themselves unable to resist the sight of wanton cruelty.

"Oh, the agony! The computer simulated agony" Cubot crowed. "Why?! Why were we programmed to feel pain!"

"Shut down, Cubot! Save yourself!" Orbot, who was missing the lower half of his torso, cried out to his dear friend.

"I'm trying! File 'SHUTDOWN_EXE ' not found!"

"Look at that, the plan is going perfectly," coughed Eggman, finally working up the courage to tear his eyes away from the horrific scene.

"Well, we certainly drew her out," muttered Amy, cringing as Sticks began to pummel Orbot into the dirt with Cubot's severed arm in a comical display of slapstick humor.

"Know I regret this most bitterly, Orbot!" Cubot cried.

"I, oof! Understand, Cubot. Oof! This isn't, oof! Your fault, oof!" Orbot spoke in between pummelings.

"...I'm not going out there," Sonic breathed. "Something tells me we've bitten off more than we can chew."

"Someone's biting something alright," quipped Knuckles. "So, what now?"

"Fortunately for all of you, I've anticipated this kind of event and have created a contingency for it," replied Eggman as he pushed the button on his wrist and summoned forth an army of badniks from the Eggcruiser. "When all else falls, throw more robots at it. Minions, attack!" he declared, sending forth wave after wave of mechanized terror towards Sticks. He then turned to Sonic and the gang, "If you wanna save your shrimp of a friend, now is the best time to do it."

"Aw, man. So much for all the hard work I put into this costume," Amy grumbled dejectedly.

"You can lament about your costume after we've acquired Tails," uttered Sonic. "Now come on, let's move." He then zoomed off in a blue blur, his two friends keeping pace behind him.

They closed the gap in seconds, peering over their shoulders to make sure that Sticks was still preoccupied with the, in her own words, _cold robotic spawns from heck_. Seeing as she was sending each and every one of them to the big scrapheap in the sky without breaking a sweat it was safe to say that she was quite distracted with her one women war against government, corporations and just about every other topic conspiracy theorist whack jobs rant about.

"Alright, everybody. Into the burrow," commanded Amy.

They filed into quickly and slammed the door behind him, sighing with relief as they found Tails huddled in a corner nearby, hands over his head as violent rumblings rocked the burrow from the outside.

"Tails!" They all exclaimed, snapping Tails to attention. He brightened upon seeing his friends and immediately rushed on by.

"Guys, you made it!" Tails exclaimed.

"Told you so," Sonic smirked.

"Well, what took you so long!" Tails snapped suddenly, his jubilant smile drooping into a frown. "I was this close to having my ripe apple plucked!"

"O-oh, uh, about that," Sonic replied nervously, his smirk fell into a sheepish grin. "Um, well... You see... The thing is... There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this, and that reason is," he raised an accusing finger towards Amy. "It was _Amy's fault_ ," he pointed to the pink hedgehog, to which she could only glare at him indignantly.

"Sonic, you spiky blue rat!" Amy huffed furiously. She raised her hammer and readied herself to whack Sonic over the head, but decided against it at the last second. "Grr... We'll settle this later, Sonic. Right now, we've got to stop Sticks."

"No arguments there," said Sonic. "Let's roll!" He announced before leading the team outside.

"Wait!" Tails cried, causing everyone to come to screeching halt, nearly tripping over themselves. "I-I don't know if I can do it."

"Do what?" asked Knuckles.

"...Leave."

"Tails, what are you talking about?" Sonic asked.

Tails sighed. He had a faraway look in his eyes. "I've been away from civilization for too long. Isolated from the outside world with only nature and Sticks to comfort me. They're all I know anymore. My experience here has irrevocably altered my perception of the universe and I feel I cannot reintegrate back into society anymore. I'll be an outcast. Shunned by those I once called my people. Found, but eternally lost."

"Tails, cut the soliloquy. You've only been gone for a day," Sonic deadpanned.

"Yeah, and the village is right down the road from the jungle," added Knuckles.

"Guys, guys. This is clearly a textbook example of social isolation mixed with a smidgen of Stockholm syndrome," said Amy. "Luckily, I know just how to deal with this." She immediately whipped out her hammer and bopped Tails over the head before grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and shaking him like a rag doll. "STOP BEING CRAZY!?" she screamed in his face.

"Bwuah?! What the heck am I saying?" replied Tails, gripping at his head as his lucidity reasserted itself. "Alright, I think I'm fine now. Thanks for knocking some sense back into me. By the way, why are you guys dressed like that?" Tails asked, pointing to their ridiculous costumes. "Is that, tin foil and scotch tape?"

"I'm supposed to be a robot, okay!" Sonic snapped.

"As a part of the plan, Sonic was supposed to kidnap me, Rosy the Romantic!" Amy beamed, gesturing to her ' _beautiful_ ' dress. "But then the plan went south and now Sticks is outside destroying all of Eggman's robots."

"And I'm clone Knuckles!" declared Knuckles, pointing to the number two on his chest. "We are many, we are legion, we are the echidnas."

"Because of course you are," Tails remarked dryly. "So, what now?"

Sonic looked perplexed for a moment. "...You know, I didn't even think actually we'd make it this far. To be fair, I'm still kind of wearing down the shock of Sticks's robotic rampage outside." He concluded before ducking a piece of flaming metal that went soaring over his head. "Oh, would you look at that. She's activated her anti-robot apocalypse defense systems."

"How did we forget that she has that?" Amy groaned, bringing a hand to her face. "We literally helped her install it last month!"

True to Amy's words, Sticks's patented hysteria fueled mechanisms of feral wrath had been unleashed and were turned upon the iron legion that beset her home. It's efficiency in turning the unholy legions of malicious metal into smoldering lumps of misshapen scrap was frightening to put it lightly.

In the center of it all stood Sticks, furiously defending herself against the hordes of motobugs and bee bots that came her way, effortlessly bashing them aside with the limb of their robotic brethren in hand.

"Wow, I've never seen Sticks so wound up before," uttered Knuckles.

"It's about time you showed up!" Eggman ran over, catching his breath. His doctor's coat was in tatters and part of his moustache was singed. "You guys better do something, I can't bring in the kinetic cage unless she's sufficiently distracted! And as you can see," he gestured to the smoking pile of robots behind him, "I'm running out of robots to attack her with!"

"Well, we got who we came for, so we'll lend a hand," said Sonic. "Get to cover. When we give you the signal, send it in so we can end this madness, once and for all."

"Don't gotta tell me twice," muttered Eggman. "By the way, I'm sending you the bill for my bots!"

"Just put it on our tab," said Knuckles.

"You don't have a tab!" yelled Eggman before stomping away in frustration.

"Alright, team. Time for our rematch with Sticks," said Sonic, his fist raised in a heroic fashion. "Let's just hope it goes better than the last time."

"Alright, so what's the plan?" Tails asked.

"The plan is simple," declared Sonic. "So simple it's just crazy enough to work."

* * *

"This is a stupid plan..." Tails muttered beneath his breath as he approached Sticks. Sonic and the gang had retreated to the bushes with Eggman, watching from a safe distance as the fox slowly trekked towards his destiny.

"Are you sure this will work?" Amy whispered to Sonic.

"I'm about fifty percent sure Tails will be able to distract Sticks long enough for us to get the kinetic cage over to her and trap her inside," guessed Sonic.

"And the other fifty percent?" Amy raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips.

Sonic chuckled nervously. "Uh, Sticks snatches Tails and retreats into her burrow and this entire debacle would've been completely pointless?"

"How reassuring..." Amy murmured, shooting a glare at Sonic.

"Don't look at me like that," he defended. "You're thinking the same thing I am. You don't wanna be near any of this, let alone confront Sticks."

"...I hate it when you're right," Amy glowered, crossing her arms.

"And you know how much I love being right," Sonic shot her a cocky smirk.

"Hey, would you two quarreling lovebirds pipe down! Shrimpy the two tailed fox is about to speak," shushed Eggman.

"H-hey, Sticks!" Tails croaked out hesitantly, causing the badger to immediately halt her mauling of some poor robot and turn her attention over to him. Her hateful scowl vanished from her visage, replaced with a smile of pure joy at the sight of her chosen mate. She dropped the ravaged piece of metal and rushed towards Tails, glomping him into a hug so tight his eyes practically bugged out of their sockets.

"Tails!" she exclaims joyously, burying her face into his fur. "Are you okay? Those nasty government dental robots didn't hurt you, did they?"

"No, no. I-I'm fine," replied Tails, pulling Sticks away. "I just... missed you, that's all" It wasn't a total lie, he thought to himself.

""Aw, I missed you too," smiled Sticks. "But enough chat. The robotic forces of evil have been thwarted, that means we can finally finish the mating ritual! Come on, we were right on the cusp of completing step thirteen, and then, _cuddle time_." she waggled her eyebrows suggestively. She began to walk away when Tails stopped her by grabbing firmly onto her shoulders.

"W-wait!" Tail stuttered loudly, turning Sticks around and maintaining eye contact with her. "Can't we just enjoy the view a little while longer before that?" He gestured around them. The jungle was positively littered with flaming junk, craters and activated death traps filled with metal robot corpses. "You know, to, uh, get into the mood of things?" He was pretty much talking out of his ass at this point.

"I can't believe it, this kid has no game," Eggman whispered incredulously, cringing at the scene.

"Well, I never said Tails was good at this," remarked Sonic.

"Shh!" Amy shushed. "Pay attention. Tails might throw up the signal at any moment now."

"Oh, I see what you mean," Sticks shot him bedroom eyes. "Wanna give yourself some time to get the juices flowing. Rawr," she clawed at the air playfully.

"Uh, yeah. That's exactly why, heh heh," Tails grinned sheepishly. "Juices flowing and stuff, uh..." he paused momentarily, flaring out his twin tails and flapping them up and down in sequential order.

"Something wrong with your tails, Tails?" Sticks asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, that?" Tails started breaking out into a cold sweat, his grin evening out into a nervous grimace. "It's just excitement."

"That's the signal!" Amy whispered loudly. "Eggman, send in the kinetic cage!"

"Sending in the cage!" Eggman announced, tapping the button on his wrist. The kinetic cage behind him whirred to life, sprouting its claw-like legs and skittering forward like a mechanical spider. It rustled past the bushes, making a beeline towards Sticks.

"Huh?" Sticks ears twitched. "That sounds just like the telltale skittering of a robotic cage running towards me." She was about to turn around when Tails stopped her again.

"It's just the wind!" Tails squeaked out in a panic. "Just look at my eyes."

"Oh, yeah," Sticks swooned. "I can stare at them all day lon- Hey! Wait a minute!" she shrieked, grabbed Tails's head and leaned in, focusing in on the reflection of his eyes. A loud gasp escaped her lips when she noticed the kinetic cage scurrying towards her, confirming her worst fears. "I knew it! There really was a robotic cage running towards me!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry about this!" Tails frowned before shoving Sticks hard onto the ground, enough to leave her befuddled. His heart ached in his chest as she stared up at him, eyes full of betrayal and heartbreak.

"Et tu, Tails?" she whispered wistfully.

Then the claw came.

The kinetic cage's energy sapping tendril wrapped itself around her leg, draining her of strength and rendering her vulnerable, completely at the mercy of the infernal machine. When she could no longer resist, it dragged her off the ground and deposited her within the confines of the cage. Once inside Sticks felt her strength return to her. Screaming wildly, she thrashed and raged against the cage's fluorescent walls, to no effect.

She didn't stop no matter how fruitless her attempts were. On and on she tried, slamming fist and body against the kinetic cage, futilely reaching out to Tails all the while he looked on guiltily. Steeling himself, he wrenched himself away from the sad sight before him and turned away, walking back towards the others with his head hung low.

The threat of Sticks and the ' **it** ' had finally come to a close.

...At least, for the moment.


	12. Dream in the Day

Sticks woke with a start and a loud scream, catapulting up out of her bed like she was spring loaded. A nightmare had plagued her, it was enough to rip her from out the realm of dreams and back into the meatspace. She threw off the covers and immediately began to hyperventilate, holding onto herself so tightly that her claws dug into her fur as her eyes frantically darted around her burrow.

Her mind was in a haze and her body was high on alert, muscles tensed and ready to strike at a moment's notice. She couldn't recall anything outside of being enraged and terrified at the same time but for the life of her she couldn't remember why. All she knew was that something had set her off and she hadn't been able to turn it off since.

Just then, a blurry shadow crept in beyond the corner of her view, causing her to shriek in terror as it reached out at her with inky digits and held her down. She struggled in their hold, screeching defiantly as she did so.

"Ah!" Sticks yelled, straining against her captor's hold. "Let me go you amorphous shadowy blob thing from outer space! I know what you do to terrestrial creatures! I refused to be probed by the likes of you! My fleshy wet orifices will remain unmolested, or my name isn't-!"

" _Sticks_! Calm down. It's me, Amy!" Amy cried out, loosening her grip on Sticks.

"A-Amy?" Sticks croaked out, her vision clearing. She was greeted by Amy's soft visage, an expression of concern etched upon her face. The sight of her closest friend put her at ease, if only slightly, yet it was enough to quell her resistance. Looking around she realized it was daytime, early morning to be precise.

"Shh... Take a deep breath, girl. Everything's okay. It's alright now," Amy cooed, placing a reassuring hand on Sticks shoulder. Tails, Sonic and Knuckles soon filed into the room, alerted by the disturbance. They all crowded around Sticks, concerned for her well being.

"Everybody... W-what happened? Dah!" Sticks murmured just as a sharp jolt ran through her head. She clutched a hand on her forehead, sucking in a sharp intake of air through gritted teeth just as the pain subsided. "Oh, my aching head. It's like a tiny little gobbo is tap dancing up there, and he brought all his friends along for the hoedown."

"Easy there, Sticks. You've been through a lot," said Knuckles.

"A lot?" Sticks raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean- Ah!" she yelped as it suddenly hit her. "The ' **it**!' Is it finally over?"

"Well, that depends. How do you feel?" asked Sonic.

Sticks stared at her hands, tilting her head like a curious dog before an oddity. "Exhausted. Like I just ran around the island all day without stopping. Everything aches."

"Pfft, that's nothing," Sonic quipped, earning a sharp jab of an elbow to the ribs and a stern glare from Amy. "Uh, I mean, you feel anything else?"

"My senses seemed to have calmed down. I no longer smell color, the air doesn't feel like a million flensing razor blades upon my fur anymore and my loins have finally cooled down."

"TMI, Sticks. TMI," Amy deadpanned.

"Wait a minute," Sticks looked up from her hands and surveyed her friends. "What are you all doing here anyway? How did you even get in?"

"In the order of questions, we were worried when you didn't show up after your week in isolation," replied Tails. "And as for how we got in..." He looked up, causing Sticks to follow his gaze towards the gaping hole in the ceiling.

"...Oh," said Sticks. "I'll have to get that fixed. Any who, guess the ' **it** ' passed without problems this year. I mean, nothing happened right? I didn't go rogue, break out and attack anybody, did I?" She looked at her friends warily.

"Yes!"

"Nope!"

"Of course not!"

Her friends replied all at once in a hurried panic. It was enough to relax Sticks, however.

"Phew," Sticks breathed a sigh of relief. "For a moment there I was afraid I'd broken loose, stalked a potential mate and forced them into a shotgun relationship."

"Pfft, what? That's ridiculous. None of that happened whatsoever, no sirree. Your week with the ' **it** ' was boring and completely mundane and one hundred percent free of mate stalking," Amy replied coolly.

"That's good to know. I wouldn't want to get hitched to anyone I don't know, or Ancients forbid, _Dave_ ," she shudders.

"Y-yeah. We wouldn't w-want that," Tails sputtered nervously.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I could go for a nice relaxing walk," said Sticks as she trudged her way out of bed. Once she was on her feet she performed some quick stretches to loosen up the limbs, a fact that Tails couldn't help but stare at unbeknownst to the others. "Some fresh air should do me some good after suffering all week long."

"You do that. We'll be around the village if you need us," said Amy.

At that, they each exchanged curt goodbyes and parted ways, leaving the orange badger to her own devices. The moment she was out of earshot however, they all let out a collective sigh of relief, relaxing their tense muscles as they did.

"Phew, she actually bought it," muttered Sonic.

* * *

_**Outside Stick's burrow. The day before** _

_Sticks continued to thrash futilely against the glowing walls of the kinetic cage, roaring in frustration with each blow struck. Eventually her energy gave way and she slowed down, her powerful strikes once able to snap a tree in half had been reduced to pitiful slaps._

_Nearby, the rest of the rescue team and Tails had gathered to access the situation after having a much needed reprieve. They had succeeded in capturing Sticks and freed Tails from her captivity. All that was left to do was to watch over the belligerent badger and ensure that she made it through the '_ _**it** _ _' without any further consequences. Which would take roughly,_

_"Eight hours?!" Sonic wailed incredulously._

_"Grr... You don't have to shout. I'm not deaf," Eggman grumbled, slowly pulling away his hands from his rattled ears. "Although at the volume you somehow managed to achieve there I might as well be."_

_"Eight hours isn't that long, Sonic," Amy chided._

_"You all might be content to stick around and let the world turn for you, but I can't be grounded like this, I gotta move! It's a medical condition!" Sonic argued. "Gotta go fast is a real condition!"_

_"Look, I've done my part already so I don't care how you chucklenuts decide to eke out the latter half of the day with your whackjob of a friend," started Eggman. "The feral reversion syndrome should wear off at precisely midnight, pacific standard time. After that she will lose consciousness and suffer acute memory loss."_

_"Wait, you mean she'll forget everything?" Tails asked, sounding half relieved and half disappointed. "That sounds... strangely convenient."_

_"The mind can only handle so much stress without breaking down," Eggman explained. "Repression and mental censors act as a defense mechanism for the mind to cope with such traumatic experiences. And I'd say suddenly reverting to a primal state of mind is awfully traumatic. I'd suggest tucking her into bed after she passes out, that way everything that's happened throughout the week will feel like a terrible fever dream to her when she wakes up."_

" _We should probably be there when it happens to comfort her too," added Amy._

" _Maybe ditch these costumes while we're at it too," quipped Sonic, swiftly crumpling up his costume and promptly recycling it in the village before zooming back. "That's better."_

" _Wait. If we're supposed to watch Sticks for hours, what do we do when she needs to... you know," Knuckles stated sheepishly._

" _It's a good thing I planned ahead for that too," said Eggman as he pushed some buttons on the kinetic cage._

_The cage whirred to life with loud rattle and sharp hiss, followed by a privacy curtain appearing from a slot atop the machine and draping itself over the cage's glowing walls. The interior of the cage also reformed itself, the panels of the floor shifted around and slid back into place, forming a cramp but fully functional lavatory with all the basic amenities needed to stay fresh and at your best._

" _Ever since I got trapped in one of my own cage in Dave's basement some time ago I realized that it's dreadfully boring to just sit there and do nothing while waiting to be rescued. Since then every Eggman industry brand cage comes with all the basic amenities to ensure that your captivity is a comfortable one."_

" _Hey! These magazines are from two month ago!" Sticks yelled from behind the curtains. "How am I expected to do my business reading old news?!"_

" _You'll figure something out your feisty fleabag!" Eggman retorted before turning his attention back to Sonic and the gang. "Well, I held up my end of the bargain, and threw in a little extra too. This team up is now officially null and void."_

" _And I wouldn't have it any other way," snarked Sonic._

" _We're grateful regardless of villain hero team up etiquette," said Amy in a barely repressed growl that was directed solely at Sonic. "Hopefully the next team up would be under better circumstances."_

" _Indeed," agreed Eggman. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to clean up all this scrap and rebuild my army for tomorrow's battle, Orbot and Cubot especially. Expect an invoice from me in the mail."_

" _That's cool. Tails is good for it," said Knuckles._

" _Wait, what?!" Tails snapped at Knuckles. "Why do I have to pay? I'm the victim here!"_

" _None of this would've happened in the first place if you hadn't been working on your precious plane in the first place," Knuckles reminded smugly._

" _How was I supposed to know it was going to blow up in my face?!"_

" _Tails, when hasn't one of your inventions blown up in your face?" Amy deadpanned._

" _...Point taken," Tails mumbled dejectedly._

* * *

"I knew it was going to work," added Knuckles.

"No, you didn't," Tails deadpanned.

"Well, I hinted at it."

"Regardless, Sticks is none the wiser of everything that's happened and, against my better judgement, it's probably for the best," said Amy. "The last thing we'd want would be for her to be wracked with guilt after thrashing us like that, and kidnapping Tails for that inane mating ritual of hers."

"I guess that means we can say: mission accomplished," Sonic announced with a triumphant thumbs up. "It got a little dicey near the end but we pulled through all the same."

"With the help of Eggman's army of badniks," reminded Amy.

"Details, details," he waved her off. "Team Sonic succeeds all the same. It's all wrapped up with a neat little bow on top." Amy couldn't help but roll her eyes at the comment.

"Whatever you say, oh, brave team leader," she replied and didn't even bother to hide the obvious tone of sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Can we get some breakfast now? I'm in dire need of protein," Knuckles flexed his wiry biceps. "These babies don't get bulky themselves, you know?"

"I'm all for that," Sonic added cheerily. "Sonic needs food, badly."

At that, the team departed for breakfast, their stomachs growling in anticipation of the most important meal of the day. But in their haste, they failed to notice that Tails swiped something from a table nearby and stuffed it into his belt pockets...


	13. Love in the Air

Normalcy on Bygone Island was a relative thing.

Ask any villager there that isn't a main character about their day and they'll either react with apathy, panic or utter nonsense. Which is why another Eggman attack is handled with routine by the village's denizens.

Eggman attacks due to either a classic case of villainy or some perceived slight against him, direct or otherwise, villagers shriek in terror, villagers run around like idiots, villagers get rescued by Sonic and his friends, Sonic and his friends stop Eggman, villagers fix up ruined village, life goes on the same as yesterday and the day before that, repeat ad nauseam.

This recent attack by Eggman had been no different, only this time his shrink ray had made for not-so-fun times running around the size of a peanut. But team Sonic found a way and the good doctor got hoisted by his own petard yet again. He did the usual vow of vengeance spiel and proceeded to go about his day shopping for groceries.

All in all, it had been an average day, void of any typical shenanigans.

For a certain twin tailed fox however, it was another day for him to awkwardly struggle with his blossoming feeling for Sticks.

* * *

Tails sat alone in his workshop quietly tinkering away at some piece of slapdash machinery he'd cobbled together to distract himself. It was a metal cube with screws all over, probably didn't do anything useful outside of being a fancy paperweight or an art piece conversation starter.

Currently he was absentmindedly turning a single screw in place with his screwdriver, a look of focus etched on his face. Though he was concentrating on tightening the screw, his mind was abuzz with one thing and one thing only.

Sticks.

He couldn't get her out of his head, couldn't stop thinking about her.

It had been three weeks since his time as Stick's captive, having endured her hospitality and mating ritual, and in the three weeks since he had been struggling to look her in the eye half the time. Whenever he did manage to man up and make face to face contact with her he couldn't help but feel butterflies fluttering about his stomach and babble like an idiot.

Sticks was much prettier than he remembered, or rather it wasn't something he'd taken notice to until now.

In the rough two days where they were figuratively joined at the hip she'd revealed to him a softer vulnerable side of her that put her character as a whole into an entirely new perspective. He found it to be uniquely attractive. And the drowsy confession, her dreamy declaration of love for him, the thought of it still made him tremble in his shoes and tug at his heart.

Sticks was enamored with him, she had said it aloud.

The only problem was, he had trouble convincing himself whether or not any of that was real or if it was just some sick joke caused by a neurological disorder with him as the punchline.

A twinge of fear ran through his veins, causing him to put too much force onto his screwdriver and accidentally strip the screw he was working on. He frowned and dropped both objects onto his workbench before slamming his head down as well, groaning in frustration.

Tails was a nervous wreck, about thirty percent fox and seventy percent anxiety. He couldn't go like this, tripping up every time he encountered Sticks. It was starting to affect his effectiveness in fights, it had already affected his technical abilities. Everything he's built so far has been about as useful as a square peg to a round hole. And it was all because he was too afraid to approach her about the subject.

The fear of rejection, compounded with the fear of even attempting to court a girl had put him in a truly awful position. This was his first time feeling something like this, he didn't know how to do it properly, if such a concept even existed.

But one thing was true.

He was in love with Sticks.

The paranoid and at times utterly deranged conspiracy theorist who tread the microscopically thin line between civilized anthropomorphic animal and wild rabies ridden beast.

Even after taking all her flaws into consideration, Sticks was to him a wonderfully animated friend whose sense of good and self reliance barely outweighed her suspicions and distrust of, well, basically everything. And for someone who grew up in isolation, fighting for their very survival within the depths of uncaring nature trying and actually succeeding to integrate into a stable society, however slow the progress may have been, it was something to be admired.

The more he thought about all the time he's spent with Sticks, both the good and the bad, the more his love for her grew. All of a sudden the domestic home life he feared didn't seem as scary anymore.

That being said, he'll opt to wait a bit before choosing to become a parent.

Sonic would have a field day with his 'get the chance to have grandkids' spiel.

Pulling himself away from the table, he walked over to his toolbox and opened up. Lifting the tray atop it, he pulled out two objects he had hidden in it and carefully examined them.

It was the gifts they'd made for each other for the mating ritual. In his left hand he held the bracelet, his gift to Sticks. In his other, the necklace, Sticks's gift to him. He'd put so much effort into making the bracelet as Sticks did with the necklace. These two items were more than just handcrafted trinkets, they represented the collective sum of their mutual affection towards one another. They were needed to complete the second to last step of the mating ritual.

Tails hadn't kept them for that reason specifically. He'd kept them banking on the chance that perhaps there was a slim chance they'd be able to jog Sticks memory about the entire ordeal. However, that option was strictly a last resort. Having all that come rushing back to her so suddenly doesn't sound like a good idea considering how jumpy she usually was. More importantly, if she remembered what she had done, the guilt would crush her.

Holding onto the gifts Tails felt his resolve strengthen an iota. He wasn't exactly the picture of composure or anything, seeing as his knees were still weak from the anxiety, but it was enough for him to finally make the decision he had been dreading to choose.

He was going to court Sticks.

"Now all I need to do is learn how to talk to a girl," Tails chuckled dryly, idly rolling the bird skull necklace in the palm of his hand. He then sighed heavily. "...I'm as good as doomed."

* * *

"Hey, Tails!" Sonic's voice boomed through the workshop, causing Tails to hastily stow away the gifts, slam the top of the toolbox shut and slip it away back onto the shelve. "Tails, buddy. You in there?"

"C-coming!" stuttered Tails, rushing to his front door. Flinging it open he was met with Sonic. "Hey, Sonic. What's up?"

"Not much," replied Sonic. "Thought you'd want to hang out together, maybe grab some lunch. You've been spending a lot more time here than usual." He peered past Tails, raising an eyebrow at the pile of failed inventions that littered one corner of his workshop. "And from the looks of things you haven't found very much success, have you?"

Tails scratched at his neck as his cheeks flared up in embarrassment. "It hasn't been a fruitful couple of weeks. But I'll take you up on that lunch offer. I could grab a bite and a change of scenery."

"That's the spirit. Come on, Meh Burger's got that limited run of chili burgers for sale," replied Sonic, leading his friend out. "I'd ask Knuckles too, but he's kinda busy at the moment."

"Him? Busy?" Tails raised an eyebrow. "With what?"

"Eh, said something about finding a big ol' emerald in the jungle. Said he was going to stand guard of it for hours on end, I dunno. Look, this is Knuckles we're talking about here. Best not to think too hard about it."

"On that, we're in agreement," chuckled Tails. "Actually, there's something I've been meaning to ask of you."

"Yeah? Shoot."

"Uh, h-how do you talk to g-girls?" Tails stammered. "I'm asking for a friend. His name is, er... Tiles, uh, Prowler. Yeah, _Tiles Prowler_. That's his name."

"Riiiiight," Sonic smirked. " _Tiles Prowler_ is looking for tips on loving the ladies. So, does _Tiles Prowler_ have anyone specific in mind?" He looked directly at Tails.

"W-what?! N-no!" Tails shot up his hands defensively. "I mean, uh, he's just at that age, y'know? Getting curiouser and curiouser and whatnot."

"...You know I'm not buying this whole song and dance routine, right?"

"...I was hoping you did."

"Well, well, welly well! Look at my best bud, finally getting on the saddle," Sonic maintained his obnoxious grin, ruffling the tufts of fur atop his head. "And here I was thinking you were going to build yourself a girlfriend."

"Sonic!" Tails cried, his blush glowing redder and redder.

"Heh, heh, kidding!" Sonic laughed. "Or am I? Anywho, have I got some tips for you. First things first, women like it when you act like you don't care..."

Tails didn't regret anything yet, asking Sonic for dating advice.

But he will.

He will.

* * *

**The Mating Ritual of Bygone Island's Jungle Badger**

**END**

**To be continued in:**

**The Curious Crush of Bygone Island's Twin Tailed Fox**


	14. Bonus: Thief in the Night

Knuckles stoically stood guard before a massive emerald of impressive size, his arms crossed and face stony. The height of the emerald easily dwarfed him by a head and width by three Knuckles stacked side to side. It was a magnificent specimen, perfectly cut within the nanometer and refracting dazzling light throughout the jungle clearing, bathing everything in a warm green hue, like a color out of space.

There was an unbelievable power tied to its seemingly innocuous existence, its pulsing ethereal radiance and mind bogglingly perfect euclidean geometry exuded an oppressive aura so heavy it could crush lesser men to dust with its presence alone. Only the Ancients knew of what this artefact's purpose was in life and the true extent of its unknowable chaotic capabilities.

Time.

Space.

Matter.

Thought.

All were rendered irrelevant before the emerald's incomparable might.

...And to think, Knuckles had dug the stupid thing up by the beachside after tripping on it during his workout cooldown period.

Knuckles's curiosity got the better of him that day. Digging up the eldritch emerald half buried in the sand felt like a compulsion more than anything, almost like a voice inside his head was screaming at his soybean sized mammalian echidna brain to do it. It didn't take long to unearth it, even less so to bring it topside with his herculean strength. When he did, instinct took over immediately.

It needed to be hidden, he thought. To be guarded, kept away from prying eyes, scheming minds and thieving hands. He didn't know why, only that he had to. And so he dragged it deep into the heart of the jungle. Farther than anyone sane has ever gone.

And there he stood for hours now. Tall and proud, fulfilling an ancient and sacred duty completely alien to him. The power of innumerable suns mere inches away.

Night eventually fell, and the stars illuminated the darkened skies like twinkling diamonds in the heavens.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...This... Is... _Amazing_!" Knuckles cried in delight. Who knew standing guard over a glorified rock for over eight hours with no breaks made for such an exhilarating and intellectually stimulating time. "Well, it's getting late. Guess that means it's quitting time. Better clock out for the day. Man, Sonic and Tails don't know what they're missing out on." He rolled his shoulders and tilted his head side to side, relishing in the cathartic pops of his realigning vertebrae.

Walking over to a nearby time clock perched upon a nearby palm tree, Knuckles pulled out his time card neatly situated below it and clocked out for the day, yawning in weariness soon after.

"Welp, time to call it a night," murmured Knuckles.

Just as he was about to take off however, Knuckles noticed a large shadow dive across the moon. Its silhouette dancing in the silver moonlight as it descended into the jungle, frightening a flock of sleeping birds in the process.

The sultry sounds of salacious saxophones swinging smooth jazz seemed to sing from the starry skies as the bushes in front of Knuckles rustled to life before he was graced by the appearance of a drop dead gorgeous beauty.

A tall, lithe and curvaceous white bat dressed in a deep purple catsuit stood before Knuckles propped up on ankle torquing high heels, her pale round face accented by just the right amount of makeup. She had her spindly arms folded across her body where the webbing of her wide phantasmal wings draped over her body like a living cloak, granting her an imposing presence that was compounded by her long taut legs that seem to go on forever.

The mysterious bat sauntered towards Knuckles, hip swaying sensually side to side in a bid to charm the muscle bound brute, who towered over her by a few scant inches. As she approached him she freed her arms and unfurled her wings, revealing her voluptuously ample bosom barely contained behind the thin elastic material of the catsuit.

"Hey there, big boy," the temptress whispered hotly. "The name's _Rouge_. What's yours?"

"Name's Knuckles," he introduced himself. "You aren't from around here, are you?"

"Quite right, quite right," Rouge cooed, circling the echidna. "I'm something of a... _collector_. I travel all over the world looking for only the finest."

"Oh, yeah?" Knuckles raised his eyebrow. "What do you collect?"

"Oh, you know. A little bit of this, a little bit of that," Rouge sung hypnotically. "I particularly like things that shine and glisten. Reminds me of the ocean on a warm summer day."

"Hey! I got something that shines and glistens like the ocean," replied Knuckles, a goofy grin plaster on his face.

"I've noticed," She grinned deviously, tracing small circles across Knuckle's broad chest. "But alas, I can't take you," she joked. "However, that gem of yours sure is breathtaking specimen. I've never seen something so impressive, this _big_... _hard_... _throbbing_... _**rock**_."

"Yeah, I don't really know how to explain that this thing can throb. Something about power beyond measure, anathema of the Gods, heart of all reality. S'weird," Knuckles replied nonchalantly, causing Rouge to momentarily break character. "But it is big." he casually tapped the emerald with his knuckle. "And hard."

"I'll say. I think I'll need both hands to hold onto it," Rouge quipped, regaining her composure and sass. "What do you say about handing it off to little ol' me? I'm sure I can find space for it in my carefully curated collection."

"Sorry, babe. The emerald stays," denied Knuckles, bringing a hand up. "Something tells me not to trust you. S'like a gut instinct born from years of ancestral duty... Heh heh... _ancestral_. That's a made up word."

"Oh, poo," Rouge pouted, pressing a finger against her luscious plump lips. "You sure there isn't any way for me to take it off your big strong hands?" She casually brought her other hand up and grabbed at the catsuit's zipper and pulled it down, just enough to show a good amount of cleavage as she pressed herself against Knuckles. "Surely there's something I can give to make it worth your while?"

"...I don't know what pulling your zipper down does but like I said, the emerald ain't going nowhere. S'pecially to no bat lady in the middle of the night on a work day," Knuckles grunted defiantly, with a good helping of obliviousness to round out his usual level of idiocy.

Rouge pulled back from Knuckles, her pout shifting into a scowl. Her sensual expression melted away and she dropped all pretense of playing nice. "Well, then. If you're not going to give it to me, then I'm just going to have to take it! Hiiiiyah!" She let out a bellowing warcry as she reeled her leg back and unleashed a deadly roundhouse aimed straight at Knuckles gut.

"Hey, what's the big ide- _Huack_!"

* * *

"That kick sent me flying across the jungle and through a palm tree. Ended up cracking four of my ribs and caused a mild case of internal bleeding. Anyway, that's the story of how we met," replied Knuckles.

Sonic, Amy, Tails and Sticks all stared at Knuckles like he had grown a second head. But perhaps more importantly, they were shocked at the fact that Rouge, the thieving bat from his crazy story, was sitting atop his lap, hugging onto him with a dreamy expression on her face.

"S'not how I expected to get into a relationship, but life is mysterious like that," commented Rouge.

"Wait, Knuckles. What happened to the emerald?" asked Sonic as he snapped out of his stupor.

"Oh, that's an entirely different story. Apparently there was this thing called Chaos and an echidna named Tik-"

**To Be Continued...?**


	15. SEQUEL AVAILABLE

**ANNOUNCEMENT**

**THE CURIOUS CRUSH OF BYGONE ISLAND'S TWIN TAILED FOX**

**IS NOW ACTIVE**


End file.
